Pretty Please Don't Pinch Me

88. All I Want

I just want to announce the winner of the kiss is Kelsi (twitter username @MillsKelsi) due to her amazing edits she sent me on twitter (one of Scarlett and Calum I've linked to the chapter. She also did a really funny one involving Steve Carell too haha) by the way - the whole Steve Carell thing was a joke. I get a billion comments about it, and this is probably not going to be the last time I repeat myself, but its a joke. Obviously Harry is played by Harry! 

Anyways, please vote! I love every single one of you that do and it breaks my heart when you don't :'(   Even if you're one of those people who are like "well I haven't voted this whole time and she'll realise I haven't when I spam vote her" - the answer is no I won't, and I don't care. I just love being recognised on the site if you think I deserve it, so please help me out if you can ♡

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"Zayn, what are you doing out here?" I ask, absolutely incredulous as to why he would be calling out after me.

"Thought I'd get some air..." he says, sitting down beside me, pulling out his box of cigarettes. "I saw what happened in there," he says, the cigarette moving in his lips before his hands encompass the cigarette, lighting it.

"Yeah... Well that's pretty much my life at the moment. Fucking shit," I admit, the alcohol influencing me more so to speak more openly to this guy I barely even know.

He nods, drawing in from his cigarette. Smoking is a terrible habit and disgusts me, but I have to admit that he looks good doing it.

"May I?" I ask, holding out my hand to him.

Looking at me quite skeptically, he hands over the cigarette and I breathe in the toxins, not liking at all how it feels being inhaled into my throat.

Fuck it.

"I thought you didn't smoke," he comments, as I pass it back to him.

"I don't," I shrug. "People do stupid things."

He raises his beer bottle before taking a sip, "I'll drink to that."

"And I thought you didn't like me," I add, while we're at it.

"I didn't," he shrugs nonchalantly. "When Max texted me asking if you were with us on the night of the Brits I was a bit funny about you. Didn't really care for you. But to see Harry after breaking up with you... that was fucking hard to see him go through that. I just didn't think he loved you as much as he did," he admits, passing the cigarette back to me. "But you're alright."

"To say I'm alright is pushing it," I say, inhaling once more. "I feel like such a fuck up lately. I kiss boys that I shouldn't, I piss off my best friends. I'm just not someone I really like anymore."

"Little hard on yourself don't you think," he states, and coming from him, it somehow makes me feel a little better. He never used to like me. He doesn't seem the type who placates sad people for the sake of it. Zayn has this thoughtful nature about him – not thoughtful about other's feelings per say, but thoughtful with his words which is a useful quality to have.

I take another drag before passing the cigarette back to Zayn.

"Thank you," I say, standing up. "For... everything."

His talk sobered me momentarily, and gave me clarity of the mind.

Who would have thought?

I am almost toppled over by Harry as I re enter the party, as he holds my arms in place, stopping me in my tracks.

"Babe where did you go?" Harry asks me almost the moment I walk inside. "You smell like smoke."