Moondust

How can I move on

I come home with tears falling down my face. I feel so broken and there is nothing I can do to fix it this time.

"Channel you need to talk to us." Says Lucy. I couldn't my sobbing and tears wouldn't let me.

I walked inside the house. And went all the way up to my room. Where I bumped into Roman. Concern crossed his face.

"Channel what wrong." He asked.

I shook my head.

"I really need to be left alone." I say still sobbing. I say walking past him and into my room. I closed the door. I keep breaking down. I slid down the door.

"Channel pleases talk to me." I hear Roman say also sliding down the door at the other side.

I cried.

"Just leave me alone." I say.

I couldn't be here anymore. I needed to get away. From here from everyone. I needed to leave. I texted Daliza to have my private jet ready.

I got my suit cases and packed everything up. I was leaving by tonight. I can't be here having to watch Alaric with Natasha. I couldn't bear it.

John walked in my room with my mom. She looked at me sadly.

"Honey what's going on." She asked.

"What's going on?" I questioned as I continued to pack my things. "Is that I'm leaving. I can't be here. He hates me. He lied to me."

She looked at John.

"Who?"

"Alaric mom who else." I say finally exploding. "He lied to about everything. The whole fucking relationship was a lie. He never care about me. He never loved me. All he wants his her and I can never be as good as her."

"Who is she?" Asked mom.

"That blond lady that also comes to the meetings. I found her sitting on his lap messing with his hair." I say.

"Channel don't leave. You are not okay."

"What's the point of staying here. To watch them come to meetings being all happy together. No mom I already been through that once I'm not going through that again."

I couldn't deal with this. Alaric doesn't love me. Never in my life did I think I would feel pain like this.

He's a fucking asshole. Why would he bring me along just so that he can make Natasha jealous? I never once used him to get Roman Jealous.

"You are running away." Says Mom.

I stopped. I can't believe she just said that. How the hell am I running away. There is nothing left for me here. I came here out of obligation at the beginning which is already done and I stay here for love.

"How can you say that?" I say.

"Instead of facing them with your head held high you are fleeing." She says. "You are stronger than that."

I shook my head. I don't see it like that.

"Then I guess I'm weak." I say. 

John looked at me with  sympathy.

"John get your things ready, along with Lucy and Coney. We are leaving in thrity minutes." I say.

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it. Get it done." I say coldly.

I couldn't be here. When all there is a pain. I don't see myself ever getting over this. How can I even numb the pain.

I don't even know how I can move on.

I'm broken and nothing will be able to fix me.
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JOHN POV

Shit really hasn't been the same ever since Alaric broke Channel's heart. Get whole demeanor changed.

When we got in the private plane. She just sat there looking at the same wall the whole plane ride which was so unusual due to here always talking or moving around. Lucy, Coney and I didn't think much of it due to her being heartbroken. 

When she got to here home in LA. We would come to visit her and she would do is sit on the couch. With tears falling down her face. She wouldn't talk. This continued for about a month.

Then one time I came to her house to bring her some dinner. That's when I found people coming in and out her home.  It was a full blown party.  Channel never thrown a wild party at her house. She'd usually go to the club.

Celebrities were everywhere drink and partying. Channel was drinking and dancing like a mad woman.

She never really hanged out with other celebrities. What changed. She was next to Yellis Dakota who in my opinion was a very bad influence on Channel.

I looked for Coney who was in Conner  looking scared. Poor girl. I needed to call Daliza this has really gotten out of control.

It shocked me to see Channel smoking. She never smokes.

I walked over to her. She smiled when she saw me.

"John you made it." She slurred. "Yellis and Fernanda this is my friend and hair dresser John."

Yellis smiled.

"Oh I've heard of you. You are one of the best in the business." She says. "So what do you think of party?"

I looked at Channel who was chugging down her drink.

"John why  don't you go and take the worker girl." Says Yellis pointing at Coney. "She can't be here with the upper class."

That made me pissed. I looked at Channel to defend her. Which nothing happened. Channel just laughed.

This is not the channel I know.

"What you said was not okay." I say to Yellis.

"So what."

I hated this bitch Yellis.

Channel Pic

"Yes girl drink it up!" I hear Yellis Dakota a popular singer and friends. My throat burns with the liquor coming down my throat.

Everything around felt like a blur. People around my LA home party and dancing like there was no tomorrow. That's what I've become. I party and drink like there is no tomorrow.

I drank my liquor it the last drop.

"I fucking did it." I yelled as the bottle went up to the air.

"You are a goddess." Says Yellis.

I laughed.

"You aren't so bad yourself." I say. "Let's dance girl."

What happened to me?
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