Fallen Angels (UNEDITED)

XXVI

She wasn't born her
she found her
over a long
and treacherous road
and the more treacherous
the road became
the more of
her
she found.
~ Atticus

  "What do I pack?" I turn to look at Scarlett as she applies maroon lipstick to her full lips. Scar is currently perched on her bunk, attempting to do her makeup with her pocket mirror, which she was able to do her eye makeup with, but has struggled to do contouring.

"It's fall, so light clothes. You can leave whatever you don't need on the bus. Devon better hurry up or I'm going to look like shit with lipstick and eyeshadow on." Scarlett shuts the small mirror and rummages through her makeup bag, "where is my eyeliner? Kyle! Did you take my eyeliner again?"

Scarlett scurries off the bus in hopes of finding her missing eyeliner, which I thought Lucas took, but I'm not about to get her way, especially when it comes to makeup.

"You're not done packing yet?" Erik hovers over me and looks at the empty suitcase and the container of clothes I have. "We leaving in a fucking hour, move over I'm helping."

I scoot on the floor to make room for him so he can sit down beside me, but instead of sitting down he flops onto the bunk and pulls the container up to him. I eye him as I watch him sort through the clothes, moving some aside and throwing some in the suitcase. I pick up an article of clothing to see it's a pair of black leather pants Scarlett gave me one of the first nights after I joined them.

"Are you packing all the clothes Scarlett picked out for me?" I ask, holding up another article of clothing, but this one just happens to be a crop top with holes in it. Clothes that I only wear at their concerts so I fit in, clothes I don't think I could wear in public.

"No?" Erik tosses in another shirt before looking at me, "what do you want to wear?"

"I'm not sure." I cast my eyes down at the clothing in front of me, clothes from my old life and clothes that Scarlett and I had picked out in a rush. "I feel like neither are me."

Maybe it's the fact I didn't pick them out myself and was more so I would fit in or maybe it's the fact that I've spent the last twenty-four years of my life fitting into a square box when really I should've been trying to fit in a circle.

I sigh as I hold a silk blouse in my hands, feeling the cool material as it brushes against my chipped nails. Much like my hair my nails needed to be done, you could see the gap between my fake and real nails not to mention the nude colour was starting to be worn away.

"You can always go shopping for clothes that represent who you are when get there, and just pack enough for a couple of days," Erik suggests as I feel him studying me. I cast my gaze to him and see his blue eyes searching my face.

"Is that obvious I feel uncomfortable?" He isn't wrong, I don't feel like I know who I am. Before I was just the woman who did everything she could to look like the picture perfect daughter in the poster family for the American Dream, but now I'm lost.

My hair is a mess with all the different colours Scarlett has been experimenting with, not to mention my roots are almost to my ears, my hair looks like a cartoon zombie. My hair used to be so well kept that everyone thought I had the naturally long blonde hair I portrayed.

"No, you just zoned out and had a lost look in your eyes, almost like a puppy." I laugh at his comment of comparing me to a puppy, at least he still thinks I'm cute.

I'm able to throw some more clothes in before tossing in a pair of vans and my makeup. I mixed a bit of the two worlds in hopes of blending the two.