Letters: A Troyler FanFiction

Chapter 15

Tyler's P.O.V.

I feel like there's electricity sparking in my fingertips as I study Troye's soft eyes skimming the pages over and over again in his hands. I've told him I love him. I need him to believe me, but I can't find the words to describe exactly how I feel about him, and the letters are as close as I can get. I poured my heart into them, hoping he'll take it. He has it anyway.

Troye sits across from me on the relatively small bed with the sheets wrapped around his shoulders, paper clutched in his hands.

I reach out to touch his arm. "Troye?"

He looks up at me with his lips parted, fresh tears spilling out of his reddening eyes.

Slowly he turns around and drops the letters onto the edge of the bed, and leans over the side to pull the IV pole closer, extending his ability to move his arm with the needle it's sunk into.

I stare at him as he opens his arms, wrapping them around my shoulders, pushing me back to lay down.

"Troye," I slide my hands up and rest them on his lower back, pulling him closer.

Troye chokes on a quiet sob and my heart stops at his wavering voice, "Tyler."

Tyler. Not Tilly.

It feels like ice splits through my skin at his lack of use of my nickname, holding my breath for his next words.

"Tyler," he repeats.

He moves his face up and buries it into the crook of my neck, hot tears soaking into my shirt. His shuddering breaths hit my neck and I trace my fingers up his spine gently.

"I love you."

My mouth falls open slightly when Troye's lips brush my skin as he says it. I love you.

"I love you, Tilly, I love you, too," his hands push back on my shoulders so I can see him, smiling.

After I wipe his tears away with my thumbs he buries his face into my neck again, hiccuping on small sobs, and I replay his words over and over again, each time the reality sinks in that he loves me back. I would say something if I could, but honestly I'm speechless. What are you supposed to say when the person you love tells you they love you back?

Nothing. You just love them.

At first when I wrote the letters I didn't care about his reaction, I needed him to know regardless, otherwise I'd burst. But there always was the sting in the back of my mind that if he didn't feel the same way at all, I'd have ruined everything between us.

But I can't lose him, not again. Once was too much, even though he's here. Here even with the chance that I'll lose him beyond any kind of help or miracle.

But I don't want to think about that right now.

Heavy silence pools into the room, with the exception of the small, constant chirps of Troye's heart monitor.

I tune back into reality, discarding my thoughts for now and relaxing when Troye sniffles and burying his face farther into my neck, rubbing his thumbs in lazy patterns across the back of my shoulders.

I smile and bring the sheets up past his shoulders again, grinning as he snuggles into them, and looks up at me with his face still stained with a crimson blush across his cheeks. "Hi," he squeaks.

I smile in return, moving my attention on his ruffled, wavy hair sloped across his pale forehead and light powder blue eyes framed by thick, dark lashes. I feel the corners of my lips turn up into a smile when I see the faint birthmark under his left eye.