Nothing Wrong With Loving

Chapter 19: Lack of Communication

Let's pretend we're not living a lie, we're not trying to love men when we crave a woman's touch. Let's pretend neither of us knows that we're frantically and wrongly in love with one another.

"No, you idiot," Katie laughed, pushing me with her shoulder to the side as she took the two bottles in my hands. "I told you, you have to pour it slowly otherwise it's fuck all."

"Can you stop swearing please, what kind of training is this?" I laughed, watching as she poured the liquid into the shot and the liquid chocolate stayed above, not mixing with the alcohol.

"I'm not patient, never been," she gestured for me to drink the shot, I shook my head, "What, don't like chocolate with alcohol?"

"It tastes nasty," I shrugged, "Besides, trying not to drink."

"You're 19, mate," she snorted, "What 19-year-old is trying not to drink?"

"Believe it or not, plenty," I pushed her a little when I walked away from her to put the bottles away.

"Are you feeling better now?" She asked, resting her back against the counter, the bar was empty, it was 4 pm, not many people came until 6 or 7, that was rush hour during the weeks, except for Fridays where the busiest time was during the night and sometimes on Wednesdays for some reason. Katie said it was because people were halfway through the week and they needed a booster.

I sighed, looking down at my hands as I turned around and laid against the cooler. I told Katie about Ceci the first time we had an actual talk that wasn't work-related and I soon found out that Katie was practically this Lesbian Goddess who pretty much knew everything and was very wise. She understood where I was coming from and she just got me, that's something I didn't get very often from someone who wasn't Ceci, and even sometimes Ceci didn't understand so when I found Katie, I sort of found a person who I could just talk to, a person who could understand and relate to me.

I don't know how to explain it, it was like Katie fell out of the sky and into my life at the right time. She just... she fit into me perfectly and it wasn't a romantic feeling, it wasn't that we liked each other or that something was going on— yes, Katie was flirty, yes, Katie was hot as fuck, yes, Katie was like the Lesbian Goddess, but Katie was... Katie. She was my friend, my first gay friend. And that alone made me sort of obsess with her. I don't think I ever had something like that.

"I don't know,"

"What you mean, girl?" She smirked at me, kicking my foot with her foot. "It's been a while."

"Just because it's been a while, it doesn't mean I'm just—"

"Yeah, I get it," She nodded looking down at her shoes, she bit her lower lip and sighed. "I've been there."

"How did it end?"

"Not well but not bad either," She snorted at her own words. "Have you talked to her?"

"Yeah, we text and all, at times it's awkward, like I want to talk to her and all but I don't want to annoy her? It's like— she's doing all these things with her life you know? She's studying and she's progressing, moving forward, meeting people becoming the person she's always wanted to be and I'm just here, serving drinks without a plan for tomorrow and just—"

"You don't have to go uni to have your life figured out, you do know that, right?" She frowned, moving closer to me and lifting my face with her hand to meet her dark brown eyes, "I'm going uni because I do not want to have the proper adult life yet and my parents said they wouldn't keep me around home for free anymore," she laughed, "Nina, uni isn't the only way out, there's lots other shit you can do, either uni or college or I don't know, I've heard lesbian youtubers are real popular these days."