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ISABELLA 

The greens of his eyes are imbedded into my memory. With each breath that I take, I can feel his heavy heartbeat. My skin burns with the loss of his touch; the way his calloused fingers would dig into my bare hip bone while he kissed me I think about his smell - the perfect amount of cigarette, mint and musky cologne- and his dimple that indents whenever he smirks or laughs. All of these things replay in the back of mind as I sit here in this bookstore alone. 

As much as I wish it wouldn't, my mind is racing with a constant string of what ifs. What if I leave Chase for Harry, would he really want about me? What if I do and he decides that he doesn't care about me? What if Chase is actually the man for me and I'm too blinded by my mere lustful attraction towards Harry? All of these questions run through my mind like a broken record player. 

I can't help the guilt that I feel for telling Chase that I love him. I hate that Harry was right; that he was right that I don't actually love him. It's funny what you can do and say in the heat of the moment. It's funny how anger and adrenaline can cause you to say things that only screw you over more than you already were. I needed to take a break: a break from men, work, and London. 

It's in times like these that I am thankful for friends, especially Jaz Hemmings. She was truly a god-send. Without her, I would be more of a mess emotionally than I already was. 

The reason that I came to London was to find myself. To get away from the fast paced dramatics of the Upper East Side and my parent's life to discover who I truly am. Instead, I have found myself with a man who is the embodiment of everything that I don't want to be. As well, I've met a man who reeks of instability and adventure who knows how to keep me on my toes and feel alive. I needed a moment to step back and reevaluate what I want to do with my life and why I came to Europe in the first place. Without the distraction of Chase and Harry. 

Greece. Ever since I first watched Sisterhood of the Traveling pants (one and two, obviously), I have always dreamt about going to Greece. The food, the weather, the beaches, the men - my desire to go and visit this country has always been high on my bucket list. When Tiff mentioned to Jaz and I that her parents recently purchased a house there, we jumped on the opportunity to go away for the week and relax. A week of girl time, delicious food, and bottles of wine. 

It's perfect. The timing is perfect. Everything about this trip was in fact perfect. 

The only downside to this impromptu trip, was Chase's lack of enthusiasm. 

"Explain to me again why you're going?" He asked me with a long winded sigh as I packed my suitcase. 

"Tiff's parents bought a house there. We wanted to get away. I already told you all of this." I explained as I tried to keep my voice calm. 

Ever since Harry and I talked at the bookstore, Chase has been overly sensitive and on edge. Whenever I would bring it up to him, he'd automatically deny that anything was wrong and change the subject. It was beginning to grow increasingly frustrating. Honestly, the timing of this trip couldn't be any more... perfect. 

"Fine," he sighed once more, "whatever." 

Today was the day that we were finally leaving. I double checked my suitcase and purse for the hundredth time that hour. Going over my packing check list once more and seeing again if my passport was in fact in my purse. It was. My excitement was overbearing and I was ready to go. 

"Where's my hat?" Jaz screamed from her bedroom. I rolled my eyes at her procrastination and walked over to her room.

"Which hat?" I bit my lip, holding in any escaping giggles as I looked at my flustered roommate. She was sitting in her closet, piles upon piles of clothes scattered around her. Her blonde hair was a matted mess on top of her head and her make up smudged from the blistering heat that radiated from her floor heater. 

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