18 - Cindy Lou Who

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"I'm gonna drop dead in a ditch now."

"Oh cmonnnn. It wasn't that bad."

"You weren't the one getting attacked by a 215 pound weight and antagonized by a 45 year old woman."

"I think you're overreacting."

"It. Was. Em. Barr. Ass. Ing."

"Just be glad I stopped your brother from telling me what you masturbate to."

"It's not like it was anything weird—"

"Stop! Stop right there I don't wanna know."

"I wasn't gonna—"

"Ah god, the image is in my head now."

"..."

"It's not funny."

"Payback."

"Oh yeah? Cause I'm pretty sure there's still more information I can torture you with."

"Like what?"

"That you like meeeee."

"N-No! He was lying—I don't. I swear."

"That's right. I forgot. You don't just like me. You lovvveeee me."

"Oh my god. Staaaahhhhppp."

"It's ok. You don't have to admit it."

"But I don't like you."

"Mhmmm."

"Audrey."

"Yah?"

"I don't have feelings for you."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"There you are saying you're pregnant again. I'm really beginning to wonder—"

"I actually have a date tomorrow."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"With who?"

"C-c-i-n-d-y."

"You sound unsure."

"Well I don't really know her. She just asked me out the other day and I said yes."

"Well good luck."

"Wait I still wanna—"

...

^^^Incoming Call From Auggie^^^
^^^Incoming call From  Auggie^^^

"Hey."

"Why'd you hang up?"

"Haha just kidding. I can't answer right now. Leave a message after the beep or whatever."

...

*

^^^Incoming Call From Dipshit^^^

"Rrryyannnn."

"What do you want?"

"She won't answer meeee."

"Here we go again."

"We were just having a casual conversation and then she hung up."

"What did you do?"

"Me? What makes you assume I—"

"Cause you're a dipshit. Now what'd you say?"

"I said that I didn't like her cause she was convinced I did—"

"But you do."

"—and said that I may have a date with a girl named Cindy tomorrow."

"Cindy? Like Cindy Lou Who from The Grinch? Are you serious?"

"I panicked, ok?! I didn't want it to be weird between us. I didn't want to ruin what we had."

"Well now you have nothing. Way to go, dumbass. Now leave me alone. I'm playing Fortnite."

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