Chapter Thirty-four

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It's been four days since Elijah attacked me. Since he shot Liam. He just got released from the hospital. I am staying with Tori now because I can't sleep in my own house.

I tried. I tried so hard, but whenever my eyes close I see nothing but Elijah and the darkness that surrounds him. There was so much darkness. It got so bad that I want to sell the house, move somewhere else. Maybe I need this fresh start.

The other recurring nightmare is reliving the time Liam got shot, but this time he didn't make it. He died in my arms. He was so cold to the touch so lifeless.

I tear up by just thinking about it.

The other thing that I have been thinking about is Spencer. Have I got him out of my system finally? I hope so, but every time he shows up in my mind everything points to no.

We haven't talked ever since I ended things between us. Now the wedding is even closer. Eleven days to be exact. I just can't believe everything is coming to an end. No more Spencer King. Just Liam and myself. Husband and wife.

Why is it every time I think about Spencer butterflies erupt in my stomach? It's like the first time we saw each other in the coffee shop. I never wanted to admit the feelings I feel. I'm not going to admit those three words. I refuse to admit the eight letters to myself or him.

I miss him. I miss the conversations. His smile. Everything about him.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. Then he walks into the room. My eyes light up and I curse at myself for enjoying his presence.

"Hey." Spencer's voice is deep and it sends electricity through the air.

"Hi," I say breathlessly from how shocked I am.

He walks over to the end of the guest bed and sits. "How is your head and Liam?"

"Doesn't hurt anymore and he is recovering." I smile.

Stop smiling Brooklyn! I want to scream at myself for liking his presence.

He doesn't say anything or show any emotion for what feels like hours. I can slice the tension with a butter knife.

"I know you were pregnant." Spencer states as his eye bore into mine.

I don't move. I don't speak because I don't know what to say. How could he find out?

"Say something." He whispers. "I need to hear you say something."

"How. How did you find out?" I stutter.

"It was written on your chart at the hospital," Spencer says.

A tear falls down my cheek. It is followed by another one and another one. Spencer moves closer to me until he is sitting right in front of me.

"I'm sorry." I sob.

"Tell me one thing. Was it mine?" He asks.

Does he think I cheated on him? He thinks I was with someone else.

"You were my first," I whisper.

"I don't know if I was your last." He says.

"I haven't had sex with anyone else, but you. Not even Liam." I look at him and he seems surprised.

"So the baby was mine?"

"Yes." I breathe.

"What happened?" He questions.

"You left the day I was going to tell you. I was happy at first then, you left." I begin. "I thought you didn't want me, want us."

His hands move up to my cheek as he strokes my bottom lip.

"An abortion did go through my mind, but once I saw the baby I couldn't give it up."

"Him or her?" He asks.

"I didn't get far enough to find out. I had a miscarriage at ten weeks. It was after I went home and my mom died. My dad was abusive Spencer." I sob. "He hit me in the stomach one night and then I went to bed. I woke up the next morning with blood trickling down my leg."

Spencer pulls me into a hug and I sob into his shoulder. Onto his grey shirt.

"I abandoned you." He pulls away and gets up. "I abandoned my child. My blood."

"You didn't know," I whisper, but it is too late as he is already walking out the door.

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