envy | tommy shelby imagines

[5] sweet symphonies from scorn sets of lips.

"He pored upon the leaves, and on the flowers,
And heard a voice in all the winds; and then
He thought of wood-nymphs and immortal bowers,
And how the goddesses came down to men."
- from Don Juan, Lord Byron

YOUR POV

I couldn't help but stare into the beauty of the man before me, as his eyes made me drown in endless seas, his hair bouncing upon his head in a child like fashion, and my god, this sinful lips I've dreamt about for years, to find the way to my own and make a home for themselves there.

Thomas Michael Shelby has been my best friends since the ripe age of 13, and I have fallen in love with him every day since my 14th birthday.
Now reaching the age of 25, my love only grows; grows fast like a child, and blooms quick like a daisy.

I knew him and I were not destined to be together, that my feelings were merely on my side alone; that whilst I was lifting him up in the world of adoration, he merely trod on me to make himself rise, as if I was collateral damage in his heart, even if he was a saving grace in mine.

"Something on your mind, Y/N?" He called to my soul, bringing me back from my daydream, making me blink numerous times, before I smile softly, and reply
"Nothing Tommy, I'm just rather knackered if I'm honest" my voice's persona tricking him, and almost myself if I didn't know any better.

He gave a quick nod of his head, and turned to the side, where his eyebrow raised on the left side alone, as he inhaled the smoke from his cigarette; and my god was he beautiful.

And then I heard it, his laugh;
His laugh is the most beautiful music God ever created, making the birds watch on in envy, as the melody spilled from his plump lips, and the creases on his face came together and danced in jubilation. His eyes squint, the joy of his iris' being acquainted with their lovers, the lids, as they embrace one another for a short moment.

I shake my head and breathily chuckle, finding the happiness for him in my heart.
"What's got you so chipper today, Mr Shelby?" The smile never leaving my lips as the words fall from them.

"It's a good day Y/N, can I not be happy?" His sarcasm dripping from the words as if like whiskey from the top of a bottle.

"I believe you can be whatever you wanna be, Tommy" my eyes reaching his as I smile softly into them, hoping he can read past my words and into my heart.
He shook his head, and warm-heartedly scoffed. My god, if I weren't perched against the table, hands supporting me, I believe my knees would've given way.
Our eyes met from across the room, his expression becoming serious; and my heart felt like a car reaching 80mph down a 30 road. The sweat off my palms created enough to resolve a drought in the desert, as I stared back, my smile still slightly there.

"OI! Tommy, you 'ere?" I heard Arthur's voice puncture the moment like a knife to the heart, I looked away, and tried to busy myself as he walked in, looking over as I nod to the eldest brother, and make my way to clean the dishes strewn in the sink.
"Lizzie's 'ere, says you 'ave a meeting?" Arthur vulgarly implied to Tommy, as my love and best friend bows his head and sighs heavily,
With a quick shake he pursues;

"Ah very good, best be off then, see you later.. cherry" he says, as his eyes once again find mine, the smirk plastered on his face.
My heart once again speeding down the highway, he remembered.

TOMMY'S POV

MY God, as I left I saw her heart break as well as my own, with her hair cascading in front of her face, her eyes deeper than any galaxy I'd ever read about, and the freckles scattered across her cheeks like constellations.

My heart would implode in my chest if I didn't know any better, as if it's self destruct in an act of love; every one of my encounters with Lizzie, I imagined her face, and those eyes that could see past my eyes and into my soul,
I'd be damned if that look would change.

I love her, I have since the age of 13, and my God, I would give anything to be wherever she may be, if it be walking my way down the isle, or running a million miles just to see that smile one more time;
I'd sell my soul to the devil himself to feel the arms of her wrapped around my neck, finding stability in my frame, and mine in hers.

I dreamt about Y/N almost every night, but I just can't tell her how my heart longs for her, as unrequited love is not something I want to feel, so instead of feeling a warm embrace, I find myself a warm body to satisfy me for the night, instead of finding a home for my soul, I found a pit stop for the night.

Because this is how it should be,
Because we weren't meant to be together,
Because I love her more than she ever could,
Because I'm not meant to be loved by a spirit as pure as she.

[ OMG SOOOOOOOOOO
I'm thinking maybe a Part 2 of a drunken encounter where they come clean, they sleep together and when they wake up, stone cold sober, they have a lot of explaining to do !!!!!!
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