90. Making Up or Breaking Up

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"What are you doing here?" I ask icily, being the first to break the silence as he hangs back in the doorway.

"To make things right again... to apologise for my behaviour. It was a pretty shitty thing to do."

"Yeah... It was Harry," I say, turning around.

I can't face him. Not like this. Especially looking as good as he is in his black jeans, blue shirt opened most of the way exposing his swallow tattooes on his chest, and that lovely dark brown hat of his. He really is a sight.

"Why did you have to be like this? It's a side of you I don't like, nor want to see. I can understand why you're cut at Luke – but you were just so vindictive back there. I can't forget that look on your face. I'll really never forget that Harry."

"I was drunk," he reasons, stepping forward to close the distance between us. "I honestly can't remember saying or doing anything, but from what I've heard I was a dick."

"I don't get it though," I say, rubbing my forehead in thought, "You have me. Shouldn't that be enough where you don't have to dangle me in front of Luke? Am I not enough for you anymore?"

"You're more than enough! Just please Ava. We were both drunk. Let's please just forget about this and move on. I love you and can't even express how sorry I am. I'll do anything to get you back. Anything."

"I just... I don't..." I begin, trying to hold my tears back, and within an instant his arms are surrounding me, holding me close, and I let them fall freely into his shirt.

"I know," he says, rubbing my back comfortingly.

"Yes Harry, you know, and yet you still hurt me time and time again. If we get back together I need to know it's the last time. That we try and make it work, or we call it a day and go our separate ways because this hurts just too much," I cry.

I don't know how much of that is true. Yes I've been hurt, but I know how much more it hurts not having it in my life. Having him gone is unbearable, and as much as I like to think I'm independent and doing okay, I'm really not. He's my absolute world now and I hate that I'm so invested. I hate feeling like he has that power to just walk away and leave, but be less affected by it.

"I want to give this another shot," he says, holding onto my shoulders and demanding I look at him with his eyes. "I know this is right. I know you feel it too."

He's right. Of course I feel it. But I also feel other things, and can't help but question that I just feel this pull to him because he was my significant first? I really don't even know.

"So are you still my girlfriend then?" he asks, moving his face so that I'm still looking at him. "Can I still keep my relationship status on Facebook to single?" he smirks, causing my lips to upturn in a smile.

"I hate that I can't stay mad at you," I say, hitting him in the chest.

"One of my more redeeming qualities," he replies, hugging me around my neck and kissing the top of my head. "But I really want to start taking this more seriously. Maybe we should go away for a bit... Just the two of us," he suggests more seriously. "Especially before the tour starts again."

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