Robert Southey's 1800's version takes home intrusion much more seriously than the family-friendly version we know today.
His Goldilocks is actually an old woman, who gets up to the same amount of mischief as the heroine we all know in the modern version.
However, her escape is much less fruitful: while modern Goldilocks trots away into the forest unharmed, Southey's version speculates that the old woman either broke her neck in a fall from the bears' window, or was sent to a correctional facility where she presumably still rots in fairytale hell.
Neither sounds particularly appealing.
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Cartoon Theories
Mystery / Thriller×Warning: Reading this story may destroy your childhood. Continue reading at your own risk.× We're telling you, once you start noticing this shit, the world becomes a darker place. We really love fan theories, specifically about Disney movies. They...
