It has been over a year since the murder of his wife, Lily, and James Potter wishes every day that it is simply a nightmare that he will wake up from. Unfortunately, it isn't and in the wake of her death, James finds himself as a single parent to th...
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Renata wasn't sure what to expect when it came to her first sexual encounter, but she would have never imagined it to take place on a dark and stormy night during a time where there were three children in the house. James seemed to come to the realisation of that as well, but he actually seemed to enjoy the aspect of a challenge, to remain as quiet as possible. He could sense Renata's nerves when she broke away from the kiss first, each little kiss afterwards avoided his lips whether they were pressed into his cheek or collarbone. Her breath was somewhat shaky, as were her hands as he felt them lingering over his arms and back.
Not wanting to pressure her into the act, James moved away slightly to face her. "Ren, if you're not comfortable, we don't have to...we can just go to sleep, I'm alright with that too."
"It's not that," she whispered in the dark, thankful that he couldn't see how hard she was blushing at the time, " it's just I don't have any...experience with any of this. It's my first time."
Normally, the topic of her virginity never bothered her, she was fine not having sex because she had yet to find the right person to share the experience with when she was back in Italy. While others raved about it and shared their stories of the adventurous ways they experimented with, Renata never felt the need to jump into it. And in a way, she was glad that she had waited, especially if her first encounter was going to be with James. From the way he had asked her if he could kiss her on their first date, he made it clear that he was only willing to go as far as she was comfortable with.
That allowed her to feel safe and somewhat in control of the situation. However, it didn't completely erase all the nerves because she didn't want to come across as an idiot during her first time either. She could assume that James had far more experience than her, the proof being little Harry. So it left her feeling like she was going to do something wrong or not do enough and that made her hesitant about continuing.
Very similar to Sirius' reaction when he learned of her "innocence," James seemed rather surprised as well as the familiar term "really" came into play as he questioned her.
"I don't mean it in an offensive way," he told her, " I just figured that since you...well, I guess it doesn't matter what I thought, does it? I was wrong, but you don't have to be nervous. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise-"
"I'm not afraid of you hurting me, James," she said, " I'm afraid that I'm not going to be good enough."
She heard a light chuckle before James pulled her into a hug. "There's no such thing as not being good enough," he whispered into her hair, "it's a learning experience for both people involved."
"It is?"
"Yes," he said kissing just below her ear, " you learn what I like and I learn what you like. From that point on, it only gets better."
"Oh," she managed to get out, " well, that doesn't sound so bad. Actually, it doesn't sound bad at all. Am I talking too much?"
James couldn't help but laugh, but he was glad that he was able to laugh because it broke the tension. He remembered his first time where he almost wasn't able to go through with it with Lily because he was panicking far too much. In fact, while he would always remember his first time, there were aspects of it that he didn't want to remember because it left him feeling a sense of secondhand embarrassment over himself.
