Castiel x ftm angel!reader

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Warning: Blood, may be triggering to trans readers with chest dysphoria hateful names the reader calls themselves, torture. I think that's it, comment if there are more pls.

A/N: I hope you enjoy!


~normal POV~

You opened your eyes slowly, looking around the dimly lit room, you saw nothing but a metal door opposite you. You could barely make out what the walls looked like but they looked old, maybe brick. You try and move toward the door but as you try and walk forward you find that your chained to the wall. Your beautiful (fav/color) wings chained up in their full glory behind you.
You really don't remember how you got here but it started coming back in flashes.
~flash back~
"Cas!" You called as you walked along in the forest. No response. "CAS!"  You called louder and began to walk faster. Cas had gone out on a hunt with you and the Winchester brothers. You were just hunting another routine werewolf, nothing special. Then Cas said he saw something and rushed off into the woods.
~present~
You really didn't remember what happened after that but you think you could guess. But before you could properly form a thought the door opens and reviewed a short figure who walked into the room. He was dressed in a black suit and had a Scottish accent.
"(Y/n) it's good to see you awake!"
"Crowley."  You croak out
"That's my name kitten don't wear it out!"
"Why am I here? And more precisely, where am I?"
Crowley steps to the side and shows you a cart he has brought with him that's full of sharp tools.
"To Luehr out those pesky Winchester boys and their little baby in a trench coat, or to get you to tell me where they are. But if that doesn't pan out I'll just have to keep torturing you. Either way I win. Oh and I'm not going to tell you where you are that's too easy love."
You growl and try to flap your wings. Crowley just chuckles and pulls the cart into the chamber and closes the door. He looks over the sharp tools and picks up a small knife, then looks to you.
"It's fun time kitten!"
~Cas' POV~
I keep pacing around the bunker and anxiously running my hand through my hair every couple minutes, I don't know what else to do, I can't feel his grace anywhere!
The boys were trying to locate you by first finding Crowley. They knew he had you or at least one of his demon minions did.
"I saw some movement in the woods and I knew it's wasn't any werewolf so I went to investigate. I pulled out my angle blade and followed the thing into the woods while the Dean, Sam and (y/n) stayed in the car. I'm not really sure what happened while I was following the mysterious creature but apparently (y/n) followed me. The creature turned out to be a demon that was sent to capture me, I guess. It lunges for what it thought was me but it ended up being (y/n) and he got taken instead. I heard the a thud behind me and turned around to see what was making that noise. I ran towards the noise but by the time I got to where I thought it was.... there was only Sulfur."
"STOP" Dean yelled. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Dean but didn't say anything.
"That's the fifth time you've repeated that! I know you feel horrible and I know you blame yourself for what happened, believe me I can relate, but you have to stop. Your just driving yourself mad, and us along with you!" Sam said.
I knew what Sam was saying was true, but I just couldn't stop replaying every step, every scene, and trying to figure out a way I could have stopped it.
~Your POV~
Crowley walked over and grabbed my (h/c) hair and pulled my head up so our eyes met. He took the small knife and dragged it lightly down my chest till he got to the bandages that I used as a makeshift binder. Apparently demons can stoop so low. He started to saw through the bandages and pulled them away once he finished. He smiles crookedly at me.
"Now (y/n) what kind of demon would I be if I didn't know that any kind of torture I inflected on you would never equal that which you inflict on yourself on a daily basis."
All I could do was spit at his feet. He let go of my hair and picked up an angle blade.
"Now lets start with your wings shall we! The most delicate and Vulnerable parts of the angles body."
First he pulled out a hand full of the feathers. I bit my lip hard, almost hard enough to draw blood but made no sound. He didn't seem to like this so then he walked up right next to me and pushed up the feathers at the base of my wing. He placed his blade at the very starts and dug it in deeply and started to walk away from me dragging the blade across my skin and along the entire expanse of my right wing to the very tip. I screamed and tried to pull away desperately but to no avail.
"Now kitten are you gonna tell where the bunker is located?" he all but sang.
"It will take more then that to get me to talk" I spat at him.
"Will do then (y/n)!"
~Cas' POV~
"Sam do you have anything?" I kept asking hoping every time the response would be different.
"Maybe..."
I lifted my head, finally after two days of "no's" and "stop asking's" we had a chance.
"What?!"
"Well in Dallas, Texas there has been reports of some unusual thunderstorms"
"Well then what are we waiting for?"
"Cas... please don't get your hopes up it probably isn't anything"
"I don't care it's the only lead we have!"
I got up and practically ran to the car and got in the back seat. The boys followed more slowly and got into their respective seats.
"There has been reports of some strange activity in the old railcar houses in old town Dallas. People think it's just homeless who jumped the fence or something."
"It does sound like a lead Sammy."
"If you say so."
~normal POV~
You watched as Crowley picked up a small pea shooter of a gun.
"You know those can't hurt angels, right?"
"They can if the bullets are made out of a melted-down angel blade"
Your eyes widened as he pointed his gun at the wing he left alone at first. He pulled the trigger and all you felt was the white, hot, pain in your wing. You tried to pull out of your chains but Crowley just laughed.
"I thought you figured out already that you were chained, stupid angel." With that he walked out of the room and left you alone.
After a few hours the pain was less prominent and you were now left with your thoughts. You didn't want to look down, to see your chest, exposed, for everyone to see and make fun of. To call you awful names you didn't even want to think about. But they still crept into your thoughts.
"Tranny."
"She-he."
"It."
"Faker."
You couldn't help but let a tear slide down your cheek.
Then you thought of Cas, the reason you followed him into those woods. Sam and Dean knew you liked Cas, they knew you would do everything you could to protect the blue-eyes angle. But this time it obviously didn't go as planned. All you wanted was to be curled up next to him watching a movie or falling asleep.
Next your thoughts intertwined.
"He knows I'm trans, that's why he will never date me."
"He probably thinks I'm disgusting because of what I am."
"Cas thinks I'm a freak of nature he could never love me."
~Cas' POV~
I fall back into my thoughts as the boys drive.
"Why didn't you tell him you liked him when you got the chance."
"Because let's face it he would never like an angel like you."
I shook my head to try and clear the negative thoughts.
"Dean are we almost there?"
"Only another hour" Dean sighed and readjust in his seat.
For the last hour I just started out of the window and tried to search for (y/n)'s grace. Yet again no luck. We arrived in Dallas just as it was getting dark. We pulled up next to the chain-link fence that surround the railcar houses. Dean and Sam pulled out all the weapons they would need. Things like holy water, the demon blade, a spare angel blade and two shotguns with salt rounds in them. I scanned the building and there were angle warding sigils all over it. I pulled out my angle blade and made a hole in the fence with my grace.
"Did he just blow a hole in the fence with his grace" Dean asked a little surprised and a little scared.
"Yeah I think he did" Sam replied.
~Your POV~
Blood dripped from the side of my mouth as Crowley stretched out his hand from punching me. Over the last three days he has tried every weapon he had within hands reach aside from  brain probing. He frowned and whipped me again across the chest and I winced and hissed in pain. He put the whip down and looked at me, he walked over and lifted my chin with his finger to meet his gaze.
"Time to pull out the big guns kitten."
"Shove it where the Sun. Don't. Shine." I growled and he smiled and let my head fall again.
~ Normal POV~
Cas walked up to the door of the building and looked at the boys who were following his lead.
"Good luck! Bring  (y/n) back to me please." He practically begged, Well as much as an angel begs.
They both nod and walk inside. Dean pulls out the demon knife and takes the lead. Sam follows with a shot gun in hand. They walk around inside and see nothing. They search the place from top to bottom but just as they were about to tell Cas it was a bust was when they saw a door they had missed. Sam hit Dean on the arm and pointed to the door silently. The taller boy took the lead and the green-eyed one covered his back. Sam opened the door quietly, he walked in slowly and lowered his gun and motioned Dean to follow him. They were led into a small corridor with four rooms, two on either side. Just as they were about to check them they head a faint noise of foot steps behind them. They turned around and there were two demons.
You had closed your eyes trying to focus on staying conscious. The pain courses through you and just about every part of your body was covered in either a cut, blood or both.
The demons tried to rush the boys but Sam kicked one in the stomach and knocked him to the floor while Dean grabbed the other demon by her long black hair and stabbed her with the demon knife. Dean let go and her vessel's body fell to the floor. Sam meanwhile was on top of the other demon and trying to stab him. The demon was holding onto his wrist but Sam finally wrestled it free and stabbed him in the throat.
You suddenly heard some loud thuds from outside the door to your room. Holding onto your last strand of hope you yelled "SAM, DEAN, I'M IN HERE!!"
The boys turned around and ran over to the door they heard your voice from. Dean pulled out his lock picks and Sam kept watch. He finally opened the door and fell inside. They saw you in just jeans, shirtless and chained to the wall. Dean quickly picked the locks on your chains and Sam picked you up delicately. Even though Sam was gently you still winced.
"Your okay (y/n), I've got you now and Cas is right outside. He'll heal ya."
All you could do was smile at the mention of Cas' name. Sam carries you outside and Dean followed watching for Crowley. When you got outside Cas was right there at your side in a second. He could hardly look at you because it broke his heart to see you in so much pain. Sam handed you over to Cas and he healed you then gave you a shirt to put on and helped you walk back to the car. Cas got into the back seat and sat you next to him. He healed your wings and helped you fold them back behind you. Then he handed you a real binder not just some bandages.
"Wait is this a real binder?!" You ask excitedly.
Cas smiles and nods. You put it on and look down happily.
"Thank you so much Cas."
Cas looks out the back window to see if boys were at the trunk putting away their weapons, luckily they were. Cas took the opportunity to tell you the truth.
"Umm.. (y/n)."
"Yeah" you look up from your chest and started putting your shirt back on there is a light dusting of pink on his cheeks.
"Well I figured I should tell you before one of us disappears again, that I really like you..... no I umm... I love you (y/n)."
You blushes and your mouth fell open
"It's okay if you don't return my feelings, I'll understand" Cas says quickly and looks down.
"Cas I love you too" you lift his chin and look into his ocean blue eyes and softly kiss him.
Sam and Dean are watching from outside and Dean hands Sam ten dollars.
"I told you (y/n) would kiss him first, Cas isn't that forward" Sam says with a smile.
"Yeah, yeah, your just happy you got the money."
You and Cas stop kissing and Cas is a blushing mess.
"Does this mean we are dating" he asks nervously?
"Yeah Cas, it does."
___________________________
A/N: This is my first fic so please any comments or suggestions would be wonderful!! Hope you enjoyed it!

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