I AM (Connor X OC) - DBH

Chapter 65 - Morning After

When Nick returned, we sat alone awkwardly. Despite it being something we would've done with Christen here, it felt a bit different without everyone else here. Kyle was sleeping by his feet.

"So...after the new year...are we going to finish that case?" Nick asked.

"Which...one?"

"With the tattoos. The one we were analyzing before...everything happened?" Nick suggested.

"Nick...I...Markus offered me a job," I explained. "I took it."

"Oh," Nick said nodding. "It's okay. Gavin and I will figure it out."

"Gavin and you?" I questioned.

"Uh...yeah," Nick said, blushing. "If you're not there, he'll be my partner."

"You're into Gavin!" I announced shocked.

"No! No, I'm not!" Nick answered.

"Oh, you totally are."

"Nahhhh."

"You are. I won't shame you...but you are."

Nick sighed. "Okay, I am. It's a thing, I guess," Nick admitted. He dragged his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I shouldn't be but I am."

"Why don't you ask him out?" I offered.

"Oh. Absolutely not. Nope. No way," Nick shot back, fiercely opposed. Are you serious? Nick Lance exudes confidence and he can't ask someone out?

"Nick, you are the most confident person I've ever met, and you can't ask him out?" I asked.

"It's not like that..."

"Nick, be honest with me."

"I've never dated anyone, okay?" He said seriously. "I mean...I did. I had a 'girlfriend' in high school, and considering my current status, you can guess how that went. I was just too damn busy, alright? There was Christen who was 16 and graduating fucking college, while I was trying to pass a simple math class. My parents spent so much time dragging us all around for Christen's shit, and my sports that I never had time."

"You...you did sports?"

"Yep. And when I went to college, finally, I was a pre-law major. I always studied, and when I finally realized I hated it, I moved on to get a certification and going to the academy. Shit went my way, and I became an officer. I haven't stopped working. I mean...I have. I did the 21-year-old things like bars and sleeping around, and all that. I lived my life, sure enough...but that's why I'm so god damn confident."

"Nick...what?"

"I'm so confident because I know what I'm doing. I am damn good at my job, so I'm fucking confident about it. I am damn good at making people laugh, so I'm fucking confident about it. I am damn good at things I do, but I don't date," Nick admitted.

"How are you supposed to do it...if you never do?" I asked.

"I guess I'll never date anyone then," Nick shrugged. "I'm fine with that. I mean, really."

"Nick-"

"Drop it, Charlotte. Drop it," He sighed. I nodded. This is my cue to stop pushing him.

"I'm glad you've told me about you. About how you feel," I answered. I can't say much else, really.

"Well...all I did was complain for a long time. I'm glad you gave it some deeper meaning," Nick chuckled, sipping on his drink. Truth be told, our drinks are lukewarm by now. It doesn't really matter to me though, because I'm here. I'm actually present, and aware, as I sit here having a conversation with my best friend. I never could've imagined actually being Nick's friend. It's crazy to think that when we first met, he was upset. Upset that I was nothing more than a machine. That his partner was now a machine. After having seen the emotional toll of Hank's son dying, Nick was stuck with me. A cold, heartless, bitch. I like to think I proved him wrong at some point, and that's when he started to warm up to me. It's strange to think there was even a time when Nick was quiet around me.