Satisfied (Oikawa Tooru x Reader) Haikyuu!

Forty One: Honestly

Oikawa didn't have to think much about what he'd done to understand how jerky he got back at the festival.

I didn't really understand myself, yet I expected you to understand me, geez I'm really a trash sometimes, he thought to himself while walking towards the gymnasium where morning practice was about to start soon. A deep sigh escaped his lips.

"Yeah, you're a trash", his friend said, as if he could read his thoughts. Oikawa shivered at this possibility.

"Oi, Iwa-chan, you don't have to tell me this-", he pouted.

"If I don't remind you about this, you get ahead of yourself", Iwaizumi cut him off. His hand moved as if he was trying to whisk away some annoying fly. After a moment of silence, he continued with a more serious voice. "So what do you plan on doing?"

"I'll apologise to her", the chocolate haired boy replied shortly.

His friend made a discontent expression.

"And?", he prompted Oikawa to say something more.

The boy blushed slightly and moved his eyes away from his friend.

"And... well, I guess I'll try to explain some things", he mumbled.

Iwaizumi smiled.

"Good for you then".

Even though Oikawa said he wanted to talk to you, it was harder to do than he had expected. Just after the practice was over, you dashed off to the changing room, partly because you were in hurry for the first lesson, and partly because you weren't in mood for talking to the boy. On each break, you found a good excuse to leave the classroom just so that Oikawa wouldn't find you. You arrived at the evening practice almost late to avoid meeting him on your way. When the practice finished, you were planning to stay longer at the changing room to make sure you would be the last person to leave the school. Everything was going smoothly so you lost alertness at the end of the day. You packed your things up and left the changing room, sure that nobody was around. That's why you nearly jumped in shock, hearing a voice behind your back just after closing the changing room's door.

"Caught you", Oikawa hummed and smiled seeing your surprised face.

"What are you doing here?", you asked, taking on a defensive stance.

"I wanted to talk to you, please", the last word sounded imploringly. You raised your eyebrow in suspicion.

"Okay", you replied after a moment of hesitation.

Oikawa took a step closer to you and bowed deeply.

"I'm sorry for yesterday", he said. You were rather taken aback by his sudden words. "I didn't want it to look like that. I just ran there driven by my emotions and didn't think rationally, and for that I apologise".

You remained silent, unable to think of any appropriate response.

"But I don't regret taking you away from Tobio-chan", Oikawa continued.

"I don't get where you're trying to get at", you said warily.

"[Name], do you remember our match against Shiratorizawa from a year ago?", the boy asked out of a sudden.

You nodded quietly in confusion.

"I think... No, I'm sure I've already fallen in love with you back then", Oikawa smiled. You felt your heart jump up, but your head still didn't fully process what you heard. Oikawa continued without a break. "But we lost, and I felt like it was my fault. Like I had been too focused on the feelings for you to be useful as a setter. I felt really bad for letting my emotions take over my game. I felt like I would be better off without them. I thought that maybe if I didn't like you I would be able to win against Ushiwaka and Tobio-chan", here, he made a break to peek at you. Your face was flushed, but you were listening closely to what he was saying. He moved his head aside and continued.

"But the feelings I had for you were only getting more vivid anytime I saw you and they ultimately were too much for me to handle. So I thought that maybe if I was able to release some of this tension by kissing the girls who confessed to me, I would feel better and my feelings would cool down. But I started feeling even more on edge... And you saw me desperately trying to run away from my real desire for you by kissing another girl. And after we made this agreement, I thought that this was enough, since it was you I was kissing and touching", from the corner of his eye, he could see your cheeks getting redder. "But even when doing this, I was trying to pretend it was something solely physical, that I didn't feel good because it was you. And during our last kiss, I let my guard down, and let myself look at you the way I promised I wouldn't. And I got scared and ran away by breaking this agreement. I thought I was okay but seeing you and Tobio-chan so close, I couldn't help but feel restless".

He finished talking and gazed at you calmly. You also looked up at the boy, overloaded with newly acquired information. Everything seemed so unrealistic, you almost couldn't believe in what you heard. You wanted to say something but the words stuck in your throat.

"I like you, [Name], and there's no escaping it. I don't want to run away anymore. So please, tell me that you didn't give up on me yet", he confessed and took another step closer to you.

Even if you'd wanted to back away, you wouldn't have been able to. You whole body got stiff, you couldn't even blink. All you could do was stare at the boy with widely opened eyes.

"Pathetic", you mumbled.

"Huh?", Oikawa felt a cold wave overflowing him.

"I should reject you", you continued. "I should be angry and say it's too late. Maybe I should even hate you".

"You don't have to-", the boy felt nervous.

"But I can't", you cut him off. "I'm so pathetic for still being in love with you".

Oikawa loosened up. His mouth slowly twisted into mischievous smile. He reached your cheek with his hand and lifted your chin up.

"Well then, should we start again?", he whispered, closing the gap between your lips.

The soft kiss turned into a deeper one and soon you felt Oikawa's tongue slipping into your mouth. A shiver went down your spine but you only clutched tighter to the boy's jacket and cooperated.

You were sure.

This was the boy you've always liked.