Outside the Lines (lashton)

(43)

"I'll see you later Luke," Michael says, hugging me.

"See you soon," I say sadly. I'm going to miss him so much.

"Bye Lukey," Calum says next, hugging me as soon as I'm done hugging Michael.

I try to laugh, but it comes out as a harsh breath. "Don't call me Lukey, you loser," I say, punching him lightly on the bicep.

Finally, it's Ashton's turn. It must have finally all hit him because I can see the smallest amount of tears in his eyes. But he doesn't dare let them drop. He wordlessly pulls me into an embrace and it feels like forever until we both let go. He drops a kiss to my lips and whispers, "Don't worry, I'll visit as often as they'll let me." It makes me smile, our foreheads resting together. Then he pulls away, too fast for my liking. I'd like to stay like that forever.

"Ready Luke?" the nurse in front of all of us asks.

"Yeah," I say through a long sigh. I wave to all of them as I get led through the double doors of the psych unit, locked behind a key card. I look back while walking, and notice Calum holding Ashton, with Ashton's head buried in Calum's shoulder. It breaks my heart, knowing I'm hurting him like this - knowing I'm hurting them all like this.

Then the doors close, locking me away from them.

The ward looks empty, and it makes me wonder if there's anyone here at all or if I'm the only one. But then I remember this is LA. This place is probably packed and they're all busy in group or something.

It does feel scary, all for a different reason that it was when I was hospitalized at the center. Back then, I had never experienced being hospitalized. Now, this isn't new to me. However, this is an entirely different country where I know almost no one personally. My family isn't even here.

"Lucy, can you finish up the plans for afternoon activity for me? I need to show Luke here around."

"Sounds good! Hello Luke," I hear a cheery voice say from an area with a big banner that reads NURSE'S STATION!

"This way," she says to me. She leads me down a corridor with a few rooms on the left and a lot of rooms on the right. On the right side are patient rooms, with a name per room. Once we find mine, she shows me inside. It's a room with a bed, a chair, and a bookcase. Just like the center I stayed at before but without a desk. Once we leave the room and she shows me around a bit, I realize the nurse's station is in the centre while the patient rooms are surrounding the nurse's area. It's a big square, for perspective.

Finally, we come to the group room that everyone is in. "Do I have to go in, or can I be in my room so I don't interrupt everyone?" I ask, secretly hoping I won't have to join them halfway. Then everyone's eyes would be on me and... just, no.

"Groups are mandatory, sorry bud." She says to me. I nearly groan, but hide it behind a cough. As we walk in, everyone's eyes turn to me except for a few, who seem to be intently listening to a man speak.

"But nothing is working, and I feel like I've run out of hope now. My friend and siblings aren't enough anymore to keep me going," he says sadly, nearly crying. I can tell I came in at a bad time.

"Are you religious Tom? Believing in a higher power seems to give a lot of us that extra hope we need," she says and oh please no, not someone overly religious. Don't get me wrong, be who you are, but please don't push your beliefs on others.

"I'm an atheist, Karen," he says harshly. It almost makes me laugh. It reminds me of those typical American mom memes that say Your tuna casserole is shit, Sharon.

Karen seems taken aback by his comment, but then notices my presence in the room. She waves, and the rest of the people who were listening to Tom turn around to look at me. Tom continues to vent though, letting his tears fall this time.