Beginning to Bond

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The sting of rain upon her skin suddenly disappeared as they passed through the cave entrance. Carissa lifted her head. Her hair was plastered to her scalp, thick and heavy with water. Little droplets slipped down strands of her hair to plip-plop onto the stone floor.

The storm outside roared, intensifying its assault of rain and lightning, as if furious they'd managed to elude its grasp. Its battle cries echoed through the eerily silent cave.

Carissa squinted her eyes, trying to pierce the thick veil of darkness yawning before them. "How far does it go back?"

He knelt and began to pull things out of his pack—her soggy dress, a coil of rope, firesteel. "Far."

She shivered harder. True, the cave was rather odorless, the air crisp and clean, rather than reeking of the smell of animal musk, but that didn't mean there wasn't something lurking deeper inside...

She edged closer to Elon.

He glanced up at her, a smirk toying with the corners of his mouth. "I suppose I should tell you I searched and cleared this cave yesterday."

Her lips flattened. "Yes. That would've been helpful."

He shrugged, his broad shoulders clearly visible beneath his wet, clinging shirt. "At least I told you now rather than taking advantage of the situation—like I did with the lightning." He tossed her a smile over his shoulder.

Carissa's gaze dropped away from his shoulders, feeling silly for even noticing much less finding them attractive. They were just shoulders—everyone had a pair.

Elon's gaze bounced from her to his shoulders and back. Then he grinned. "Find something you like?"

Heat scorched her face. She'd been hoping he wouldn't notice. "You wish."

His laugh echoed through the cave, and suddenly it didn't seem quite so eerie. He handed her a wooden stick, its end wrapped in pungent gauze. "Now, if you can focus long enough to hold this torch for me, we'll soon have light."

She grasped the stick. "I wasn't having any trouble focusing."

He glanced up at her, the minute details of his expression indistinguishable in the damp gray light. "It seemed like you were a bit distracted, though for good reason." His voice lilted teasingly, and she thought he winked. He struck the firesteel and lit the torch.

The cave around them glowed yellow in the torchlight. Elon repacked everything before rising. He wove the fingers of his right hand with the fingers of her left and led her deeper into the cave. There was something sweet about their palms meeting that made her heartbeat hiccup.

Long shadows clung to the rocks and crevices as they approached before vanishing beneath the torch's light. They journeyed into the cave until the storm's rage softened, sounding like the restless murmuring of a sleeping drunk. After a few turns and squeezing through some rock formations, Elon stopped.

At his feet was a conical arrangement of firewood. To their left was an indentation in the cave wall, piled thickly with furs and blankets. Elon had done more than just clear the cave.

Elon tapped Carissa's hand and nodded to the wood. She lowered the torch, and the flame crept onto the oiled sticks. Elon knelt and feed more wood and dried leaves into the fire. Carissa began to do the same, but Elon brushed her hands away.

"I'll take care of this. Go change and warm yourself."

Her eyebrows rose. "You brought me a change of clothes?"

"I did." Heat flickered in his eyes. "Though I was tempted to do otherwise."

She rose. "Then perhaps you should have allowed yourself to be tempted."

His sigh was ragged. "You don't think I want to?"

"If you want to, then why are you holding back?"

He glanced pointedly at her. "Why do you think?"

Her teeth sank into her lower lip. Because of her—because she wasn't ready, because she hadn't waited for him. "But it's been at least two weeks since we've tried anything."

"Exactly. Two weeks, Carissa, since you've been lovingly touched, held, or kissed."

"You've held me on several occasions today, and I've done just fine. And," she gestured to herself, "I even removed my dress. We've made lots of progress."

"You think you're ready to bond with me, then? That you won't strain away from me? That you won't be tempted to whimper or cry?" His voice was hard, challenging her to say otherwise, but his expression was tender.

She shook her head. "I'll probably do all of those things."

"Then why do you ask for this?"

"Because we're husband and wife, and we need to bond eventually, and we only have nine days before we head into the depths of Esmeray." She huffed out a sigh. "I know you'll tell me that we don't need to bond to love each other, and I know that, but this is important." Elon opened his mouth, but she pressed her palm against his lips before he could speak. "Sometimes growth requires a certain amount of pain, and at this point, I don't think we'll ever bond unless I suffer some discomfort. Such is the price I must pay for what I chose in Zonah."

He pressed a kiss to her palm before grabbing her wrist and removing it, regret melting in his eyes. "You're not wrong. I'm afraid our first bonding won't nearly be as pleasurable for you as the times after." He tilted his head, falling into a thoughtful silence. "When we bond for the first time, you'll have to trust me completely by that point."

"I do trust you."

"Even with Aleck?"

Sourness twisted inside her stomach, and she glanced away. She still worried about Aleck. Yes, he'd survived on the streets before, but not without suffering a few beatings. She wanted to cocoon him in the safety of the palace and keep him safe.

"Carissa?"

Elon knew what was best, and he cared for Aleck. She drew a breath to reply, then stopped. But did he truly love Aleck as much as she did? He barely knew the boy, and he didn't seem overly distraught that he'd left.

But even so, Elon loved her, and he knew how important Aleck was to her. He'd do what was best for Aleck—if not for Aleck's sake, then for hers.

"Yes, Elon. I trust you with Aleck."

He studied her expression, and gradually, a tender smile softened his lips.

At least he seemed to know how much those words had cost her. "So you'll bond with me? Before we leave for Esmeray?"

His eyebrows arched. "You don't think I can make love to you in Esmeray?"

Heat poured into her cheeks. She opened her mouth, but no words came.

He grinned. "To answer your question, yes. I think we can bond before we leave, but not right now. Just... trust me with this."

She swallowed back her question and nodded.

"However, if you change into your dry chemise and wait for me in our bed"—he nodded towards the heap of furs—"then we might resume our training."

Judging from his heated gaze, he didn't mean training in weaponry. Carissa managed a nod, too flustered to speak, before she hurried off to do as he'd asked.

*** 

Author's Note: 

Sneak Peek and a score board of everyone's votes is coming up soon. ;) 

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