12 | ғσσℓ ιи ℓσνє

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I know he's not perfect in your eyes
But somehow he's flawless in mine

Chapter 12 ~ Fool in Love

Ryan Rivera

Fuck these stupid feelings.

I had gone my whole life being totally okay with the fact that the love of my life was a straight male. I never tried to do things that could potentially jeopardize a perfectly functioning friendship with said male, until said male coerced me into sucking his dick and making me fall even harder than before.

Never would I have thought that my first gay sexual experience would be with my best friend, but Bobby was such a hardheaded tool that thought he was doing me a favor, so I gave into the pressure. In a way, I guess, he did do me a favor by letting me live out my wildest fantasies, but none of that was worth the way my insides were currently twisting and turning in my stomach every time I laid eyes on him.

I didn't want to feel this way because feeling this way was going to cause problems, and problems were the very last thing I needed right now.

So it was safe to assume that I said as little as possible to Bobby for the rest of the entire evening, for fear of letting something slip that would forever alter our friendship. Bobby didn't seem to pick up on it; in fact, he didn't really say much either. Even when my family insisted that he stay over for dinner and we were seated next to each other like always, listening to the table talk and taking occasional bites from our Italian-style food, we still didn't talk.

And I knew what that meant.

He was already regretting it.

Fuck, Ryan! You should've just said no like you always do! Why'd you have to let that stupid spit-shake break your defenses?

"So, everyone..." Scar clasped his hands together to force the table to bring our attention to him. On any normal circumstance, I would've been indifferent towards my father's announcements, but today, I found whatever he had to say to be particularly interesting. After all, it was better than sitting around and racking my brain about how Bobby must've been feeling, "...we have great news!" No one said anything in response, which made him slightly irritated. "What, none of you are dying to know what it is?"

Bryan scoffed. "Dad, you guys never have great news. There's always bad news attached to it."

Kahori and I shared a laugh at our brother's comment because it was sadly true. Nothing good ever really happened in our household. Everything that was even the slightest bit of good news was always because something bad had happened to cause it. When we found out that we were finally getting to live with them, it was because our foster mother was ill. When we moved to a new neighborhood with a brand new house that was much bigger than our last, it was because a burglar was terrorizing our old one.

"Oh," Scar said as his shoulders slumped and he looked to his husband for help.

Jamie rolled his eyes, and let go of a heavy, disinterested sigh. "Well, Scar got a bonus at work and instead of putting it in the bank to save it for something that's actually important like your college tuitions, because we do have three kids, you know—" He sent a side glare to Scar, "—he decided he wanted to take a family trip."

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