Love Comes in Three

Chapter Thirty-Six "April"

            April arrived quickly, along with a host of decorators, bakers and musicians.  Lady Edgehill met with each and every one behind closed doors and I was happy not to have to participate, but as the lady explained, this ball was my gift, so she wanted me to be surprised.  I tried to tell her that she had already done so much, that the debut was not necessary, but she would only smile and stroke my cheek and then carry on with her plans.  She had become quite sweet to me over the past several weeks, I attributed it to how well Thomas and I were getting along.

            Patience, on the other hand, was positively put out not being part of the planning.  She had been taking more time in bed lately, at Freddie's insistence I'm sure.  She would send for me now and then, trying to find out more of what was happening.  When I could not tell her she accused me of withholding information on Freddie's orders.  That gave us a very good laugh, and even with both of us assuring her that we did not know what the lady was doing, Patience did not believe us.  Part of me felt bad for her, she would not be able to attend the ball and she longed for Society parties and making new connections, the other part of me was secretly happy not to have her interfering.

            I still have not heard from Faith but neither Patience nor Lady Edgehill seemed worried, and it was a little distressing as it's been over a month.  I frequently wondered if either of them had word from her or the accompanying maid and wondered why they would not share the information with me.  I thought about asking Freddie to see if he could find out anything from Patience but then I put the idea out of my mind, I did not want to aggravate her anymore and so I decided to just wait, no matter how difficult it would be.

            Freddie was almost back to his usual self but he continued to watch over me and I know he's been keeping an eye on Thomas, although not as watchful as it once was.  I've caught him hiding a smile as he watched us play games in the evening one night although he denied it most fervently.  He has been spending long periods of time with Patience and I could tell how happy he was that they were expanding their family.  I worried for the day when he would want to return to Somerset because I was not ready to leave London . . . the Edgehills . . . Thomas.

            The past two weeks have been wonderful with Thomas as well as worrisome.  When he's with me I feel so happy and light, like I could float into the sky.  I would love to believe that he feels the same because his smile and mannerisms lead me to think that he has never been happier but there are times he seems to come crashing to the Earth.  He'll seem burdened, usually after talking with his mother, and sometimes just out of nowhere he'll be brooding before he takes his leave, staying away a day or two.  When he returns, I cannot explain better than he seems almost broken.  I do my best to put him back together again, it's in those moments when he revives by my touch.

            We had a sofa moved to the sanctuary since we were spending so much time there and it became a favorite spot quickly.  "May I ask you something?" I asked sitting beside him.

            "Anything," he smiled taking my hand and pressing it to his lips.

            "Where do you go?"  I asked, noticing how his grin faltered, "Because when you return . . . you're shattered."

            "You talk like I am made of porcelain," he tried to smirk as he looked away, letting my hand fall.

            "I'm serious, Thomas, if you're not happy . . . "

            "No," he declared turning towards me, taking both of my hands in his, "that's . . .  that's not it, I swear to you."

            "Then can you tell me what happens?  Why are there such changes in you?"

            "Do you remember when I told you I was trying to figure out how you fit in my life?" he asked, I nodded silently.  "Now it's not a matter of how you fit because you are my life," he continued and I felt my heart swell, "but I'm trying to . . . fix . . . my life . . . for you."

            "But there's no need," I sighed touching his cheek.  He grabbed my hand and held it against his face, moving slightly to kiss my palm.

            "Yes there is," he breathed, "and one day it will all make sense."

            "Not today?"

            "No," he smiled into my hand, "not today, but soon . . . after your debut."

            "But that's just because you need to be connected to a proper lady of Society and not the simple country girl . . . "

            "I'm rather fond of the simple country girl," he laughed, "but the debut will be good for you . . . you'll have opportunities."

            There was a lump in my throat, "What opportunities would I need . . . unless . . . "

            "I am not very good at this," he said lowering his head, "What I mean is . . . "

            "If you do not want me," I started, pulling my hands into my lap.

            Thomas cupped my cheeks and pulled me to his lips, kissing me, "That, is never the case," he breathed when we parted.  I smiled, needing to hear the words.  "But if anything were to happen, it would be best if you had a proper debut."

            "Will you dance with me?" I asked shyly.

            "Now?" he laughed.

            "At the ball . . . at my debut, will you dance with me?"

            Thomas took a deep breath, "I won't be there," he admitted.

            "But why?" I felt anxious, why would he not be there if this was for him . . . for his family's connections.

            "I am hoping to conclude some business by then, but I cannot guarantee that I will be in attendance."  He watched me as I looked away, trying to hide the fact that I was hurt.  "Margaret, if all goes well, we will be dancing together for the rest of our lives . . . "

            "I was hoping that my first dance would be with someone I care about," I acknowledged.

            "And it will be," he said turning me to look at him again, "the first dance is with the man that escorts you . . . so Freddie."  I laughed a little with him.  "I assure you that this meeting is of great importance otherwise I would not miss it for the world."