Backfired | SaTzu

Chapter 13

Damn this feeling. I hate this.

Why did I even act that way? Now she probably thinks that I like her. And that's bad 'cause I don't like her.

Right?

I don't like her.

But fuck! I'm being paranoid. Now I'm thinking of possible things that she might have done when I left her. Did she just shrugged it off and went to that cheater Jungkook and Taehyung? I hope not. Wait, why do I even care? Did she chase after me? No, did she even think of chasing after me? I hope she did. I hope she chased after me.

And I should probably stop having these thoughts. They're making me sad.

I'm sad.

Fuck no I'm happy as fuck.

Wait, I think I'm going to cry. I fucking feel as if I'm rejected.

No just kidding. There are too many girls out there that I could have.

But it's Chou Tzuyu that I want dammit.

I sighed and took in the scenery. I'm currently here, sitting on the grass and staring at the Han River. The wind lightly hitting my face is calming, but I still want to cry.

Chou Tzuyu, what are you doing to me?

This sucks. This really sucks. I closed my eyes and my tears fell, though I don't want them to. "Dammit, what is this feeling? I never cried over a girl before," I mumbled to myself.

Dammit she should be the one who's crying over me. She's the one who likes me!

"Why am I even feeling this way?" I mumbled again. People might think I'm crazy if they see me talking to myself.

I have to stop dammit.

But I can't. "Seriously, Chou Tzuyu. You should be the one who's crying over me," I whined. This is crazy. This is making me crazy.

My hand went to touch my chest. It's beating way too fast and loud. I'm afraid people nearby would hear it. "I don't like you," I said, trying to convince myself that I really don't like Chou Tzuyu. Well, why do I even need to convince myself if I'm already sure that I don't like her?

"Why the fuck am I crying?!" I asked myself as I angrily wiped my tears away, my eyes still closed. I inhaled deeply and calmed myself.

I'm not jealous, am I? Wait, that's impossible. How can I be jealous when I don't like Chou Tzuyu? Damn right, how? But maybe if I admit it to myself- Okay, no. What am I even thinking?

"Okay, so maybe I'm jealous," I suddenly admitted. And it made me want to cry even more. I'm jealous, now what? That doesn't make sense, right? I'm jealous but I don't like Chou Tzuyu, I swear.

"I wish this shitty feeling would go away," I mumbled as I let my tears flow once again.

Suddenly, a hand caressed my cheek and wiped my tears, surprising the shit outta me. And what's more surprising, is when a voice that I'm starting to really like, whispered, "Found you."

And then my eyes snapped open.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I saw Chou Tzuyu in front of me, staring right into my eyes.

Hey, the shitty feeling did go away. It was replaced by happiness.

I immediately hugged her, causing us to lay on the grass. She groaned and tried to push me away, but I didn't budge and stayed on top of her.

"Hey! Get off of me! I can't breath!" She complained as she kept on pushing me.

I shook my head and buried my head on the crook of her neck. "No, I missed y-" I stopped when I realized what I was going to say. Where the heck did that phrase came from? I'm seriously going crazy. Send help!