Outside the Lines (lashton)

(47)

My three days of imprisonment are over, yet I'm not excited to go home. I can see a crowd - small, but still there - gathered outside the hospital. It's like some of the fans don't even care for my privacy. It's disgusting.

"Ready?" Ashton says to me. He's the only one who came to get me. They talked to management about the situation, and they actually agreed to hire a bodyguard so I would be able to get out of the hospital nearly hassle free. His name is Hank.

"Honestly, they aren't as hyped as they usually are, most of them are actually polite and asked how I was doing and wished that everything would be okay soon. A few were getting out of hand, but I quieted them down and told them that you wouldn't like it too loud, so I hope it's okay I told them that."

I hug him openly, not even caring who's able to see through the windows. He cares so much about me and it shows.

"Thank you," I whisper to him. He puts a hand in my hair, pulling me into the hug tighter, like he wants it to last forever. I take a deep breath stepping away from him and tell him I'm ready.

The nurse from the first day is here to show me out, and I thank her for everything she's done for me. She waves me off and wishes me the best. Walking out of the ward isn't hard, and walking through the hospital isn't hard either surprisingly. I was thinking there would be scattered fans throughout the unlocked parts of the hospital. I voice this to Ashton, and he tells me that apparently if you don't have the name of someone in this hospital and their room number, you don't get in to see anyone. I wish I had known that before, it would have calmed me down trying to sleep last night.

"We're taking a different way out this time," Hank informs us, as Ashton voices his confusion on where we're headed.

"No, let's just go the same way you guys came in. They already saw you enter the hospital, it'll just confuse them even more if they don't see us leave," I say, feeling defeated, not wanting to leave the hospital at all, not wanting to face my problems. I wish time would stop.

"If you're sure, are you sure Luke?" Hank asks me, and I nod my head, knowing I'll have to face the fans and press eventually.

It's time to stop hiding.

Walking towards the entrance, I can already see the fans out there. I stop in my tracks. Ashton looks behind him to find me there, holding myself. "Hey," he says, making his way over to me, careful not to make too much contact to raise questions from the fans. "You've got this. And if you don't want to do this, we can take the other way out."

I take a shaky breath, trying to calm myself, before nodding and start walking forward again.

As soon as the automatic doors of the hospital open, the small crowd immediately greets me with various hey, hi, and hello Luke's. No screams, no shouts, just greetings for me. After I continue walking, not acknowledging them, they start to say other things. Things like, we hope you're okay Luke, we all love you, and you can beat this.

Although I'm upset that they came out here at all, that they didn't give me the privacy we've told them I want from the beginning of this, it still warms my heart. They came out to support me, to let me know they're here for me.

At the end of the small crowd, I finally look up and try to smile at them. But I turn my head back down to the ground, feeling the anxiety of just looking at the crowd fill me. They're all looking at me, judging me. My breathing starts to get heavier. Now that we've passed the crowd, Hank is behind us. And good thing he is, because some of the crowd follows us. I can hear half of the crowd saying to not do that, to give us space, but the rest of the crowd isn't listening. It's not like they're pestering us, they're simply following behind us saying things like we miss you, and hope you're doing alright.

Ashton turns around and addresses the crowd.

"Please don't follow us, you guys. We just want to get home and if you guys follow us it'll be harder to get out of the parking lot." They mutter their apologies and actually listen to him.

I didn't know our fans could behave this well, honestly.

Following Ashton towards the car is a struggle, for a couple reasons. First being, it's been a lot of walking and I'm getting a little light headed. Second being, my hand is itching to hold his. My heart is full of so much love for this man, all I want to do is hold him.

But I have to wait until we're in private.

But do I really have to? So what if people know we're dating? We might lose some of the fan base, but if they leave for that reason, then they weren't truly fans.

In this moment, I can't think of a reason not to hold his hand in public.

So I do. I make my way next to him and grab his hand. I see panic flutter across his face, looking behind us, but I shush him and continue to walk. His grasp around my hand gets tighter as he starts to feel more comfortable.

"I don't care if the world knows, I want to be able to show them that you're mine and I'm yours," I tell him quietly. He nods his head, and rubs his thumb over the back of my hand.

Finally the car comes into view. Ashton crawls into the back seats with me. Once the doors are closed, I grab him in the biggest embrace ever, squeezing the life out of him. He hugs me just as tightly back. We're wordless, just love radiating off of us.

"I love you, Luke," he tells me, pulling away to look at my face.

The confession still makes my heart do summersaults, and I find myself whispering to him, "I love you, Ash."

The car starts to move so we buckle up. I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling a little bit uncomfortable as I'm a little taller but I don't mind. I want the extra touch.

My head is filled with Ashton, Ashton, Ashton the entire way home.