Chapter 62

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#ABNQ62 Chapter 62

I didn't expect him to run after me—I didn't expect him to listen to anything that I'd say. Because I knew that as far as he's concerned, I was nothing in his life.

I was just a part of his past... something he badly wanted to forget.

And I understood that... I didn't want to accept it, but I understood. I understood that what I did was unforgivable. Alam ko na kahit ano ang gawin ko ay hinding-hindi niya ako mapapatawad.

"I'm happy," I heard him say before the door shut behind me.

Agad akong natigilan. I heard footsteps. My heart began to tumble inside my chest.

"I'm happy," he said like he was trying to convince himself.

I turned and looked at him. I tried to put on a brave face, but I knew that it was all for nothing. He could see right through me... I wished that he could see how unbearable everything was for me now.

How that single mistake changed my life in the cruelest way.

"Thank you," he said. "Thank you for cheating on me before things got too serious." Unti-unting umawang iyong labi ko. Nagsimulang lumuha iyong mga mata ko sa reyalisasyon sa gusto niyang sabihin.

"You wanna know why I was so busy when I was in Madrid? Because I was talking to everyone in the family, telling everyone about you. I wanted to introduce you... because you know? I really thought it was you, Joey. I thought you were the one for me."

Ang bigat.

Ang hirap.

"I even fought with Saint because he wanted to get the ring for Mary. I was so fucking pissed at him because he got the ring... But thinking about it now? I was glad that I didn't get it. You don't deserve anything from me."

I looked at him. I looked at how red his eyes were. I looked at the hurt that was in his eyes.

"I was about to propose—to assure you that no matter how busy you get in school or I get in work, at the end of the day, I'd still be here for you... But what did I get?" he asked, letting out a dry laugh. "You. Kissing him."

I was lost for words. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko. Hindi ko alam na iyon ang mga nangyari. He never told me about this. Ang alam ko lang, binisita niya ako pagbalik niya galing Spain...

"To answer your question, I am happy. Thank you for showing your true color," he said before he started to walk back away from me.

"I'm sorry," I said. He didn't stop, but I knew he could hear me. "I'm sorry for everything... I'll do my best to stay away from you... If that will make you happy," I continued. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.

"All I ever wanted was your happiness," I said before I ran away.

Dali-dali akong lumabas habang naka-hawak sa dibdib ko. Even looking at him hurt me so bad. Alam ko na kahit gaano pang katagal ang panahon na lumipas, kahit mapatawad man niya ako, hinding-hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko.

This mistake... this would haunt me forever.

There's nowhere to escape.

I'd forever carry this guilt inside me... slowly eating me inside until there's nothing left.

I stopped for a while.

I stopped to cry.

My heart felt heavy—everything felt heavy. Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang dapat kong maramdaman. Hindi ko na alam kung sino ang dapat kong sisihin, kung ano pa'ng klaseng panghihinayang ang dapat kong maramdaman.

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