You Always Build It Better the Second Time Around

Chapter 21 - Entranced (By What You Make Me Feel)

A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! Forgive me!

...

I stare blankly at the envelope within my hands, my eyes tracing endlessly over the letters of my name written in familiar hand writing. I hear my name being called for the millionth time, so I turn my eyes to Krul, my attention still on what could possibly be in the letter from him. "Are you alright?"

I sigh, exhausted with this familiar question I've heard a thousand times since my eyes landed upon my name and my hands touched the paper of the envelope the letter is within. I haven't even opened it yet. I'm honestly afraid to. "Can you just... go?" I ask again.

Krul raises a brow with a displeased look upon her face she's worn more than once since I first asked her to leave. "Do you want me to stay, or leave? Make up your mind, Mikaela."

"Yes," I decide, unsure of what I'm agreeing to. "No," I correct. "Can you just read it instead?" I ask, thrusting the letter into her hands. She gives a look of confirmation, to which I nod in reply without hesitation, though it's deep within my soul.

Her nimble fingers waste no time opening the envelope and pulling out the letter. It's a normal piece of paper with many creases, the ink smudged slightly in some places, but it's easy to read other than that and the rushed, sloppy hand-writing. I can read Yu's words all day with ease no matter how many different styles or angles he used. His hands wrote these words upon these pages whether as a cry for help or as a genuine message. With him, any little thing can have meaning. I just have to be willing to look hard enough, and I can't do anything but make sure I've looked at everything before I jump to any conclusions with him.

Yu...

I will definitely...

Save you.

<Song Starts Here> (Don't mind me! Just a stupid note for the author!)

Dear Mikaela,

Are you fine? Safe? Unharmed? I already know the answer to those questions, though I feel like rambling, so just read this for a bit. It might be a bit long once I'm done, but before I lose it, I'll pour my heart and soul into these words I want you to keep within your heart forever no matter the outcome of this.

I have little faith, to be honest. Not in you. All my faith is in you. I have little faith in me. I have little faith I'll be the way you want me to if you're able to save me.

It's honestly funny, quite silly even, how quickly you changed me. You've redeemed my soul and put a light back within my eyes. I'm certain it was destined that you would be the only one to be able to do that for me. I wonder what it would've been like, if this was put to an end already, and I didn't have to make these self-sacrifices for you. It's funny how much I care for you. I know it's not normal; spare me the humiliation, please.

I laugh at his humor despite the tears pouring from my eyes. It seems he's always too good to be depressed no matter if it's the end of the world. I hope to save that part of him. I hope it will last long enough for me.

The way I feel may greatly differ from the way you feel. I know not what you feel, but I have hope that it's at least something like the way I feel. I mean, you didn't really look disgusted, nor your behavior toward me changed after I had kissed you the first time around. The feeling on my lips lingers, and I hope it's not sick of me to say that I do not mind it at all.