You Always Build It Better the Second Time Around

Chapter 39 - Ultimately (, I Am Lost Without You)

Protect. All I wanted...

It was all I wanted.

It's all I feel.

Even when I was told to lie still. To stop moving. To calm down. Not to worry.

I couldn't.

I had the drive to protect. To protect him. Not even myself. Just him.

I could hardly breathe. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move.

Still, my eyes were stinging with tears.

And my body was aching all over. And I could feel an ache in my eye. And an absence. I can still feel the blood rushing from my head, even now.

And yet, despite the pain unbearable to myself, especially when it hurt to speak above all, with memories from the event rushing through my head...

And yet...

And yet.

And yet, the first words to escape my lips, despite the strain...

It was to ask for him.

"Where is he? Where is he?"

I was being difficult. They put me in a sleep. I felt like they were trying to keep me from him.

They...

Are they helping me...?

Are they helping him?

Are they good?

Are they with him? The Crown?

 
...
 

There was a voice. I am sure of it. It was soft. And gentle. As is the hand stroking my cheek now. I have a feeling I know who it is. Hell, I know damn well who it is. I pull my chapped lips apart, feeling the dryness and the cracks of my lips. I can't see anything, but I don't need to. I want to speak. I want to speak to him. I want to hear his voice. I want him to know that I am okay.

I want to know he is alright, too.

"Is.... it over?"

I hear him sniff, as if he had been crying. My voice is soft, and it's clear that it hurts to speak, but I know he's heard me. "Don't speak. It's alright." I feel him take my hand into his, bringing the back of my cold hand against his warm cheek wet with recent tears. His voice weak and shaky from his crying. He is still reassuring, and kind. "Yes. Yes, it's over."

A weak smile lightens the frown from my lips. "I..."

"Don't speak. It's alright," he mutters again, his voice softer and reassuring. I feel him stroke my hair above the bandages over both my eyes. "It's over, now. You don't have to worry anymore."