Chapter 38

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I lay on a chair back at the Cabin. I stare at my left ankle, wrapped in a bandage. Levi really saved me. I internally sigh. The cut wasn't too deep so I didn't need stitches but it still definitely hurt. I was lucky his hooks didn't break a bone.

I should thank him. But they seriously saw my underwear. My face heats up at the thought of it. Walls, I can't look at them the same anymore. Erwin got a bandage on his arm, and didn't need stitches. I'm glad this happened early, imagine this happened closer to when we want to retake Wall Maria.

People were outside helping extend the Cabin, while I am being as useless as ever.

I'm about to stand up but Erwin walks in.

"Hello." He greets me.

"What's going on No-Armed-Freak?" I ask. He chuckled and sits down.

"I do prefer being called Erwin, but that doesn't matter."

"But seriously, what's going on? I missed too much." I ask, sitting up properly.

"Hm..." Erwin stands up and walks to me. He kneels down in front of me and places his injured arm on my shoulder. His face gets close to mine that I can practically feel his breath fan me.

"Y/N. What do you think the situation is at hand?" He asks sternly. His blue eyes bore into mine and I think.

What is the situation at hand?

Suddenly the living room door opens and we both glance at the door. Levi stands there raising an eyebrow at our position.

Walls this looks bad.

"A bit inappropriate, a Squad Captain and Commander. But, don't listen to me, follow your heart." He says, quite bluntly and rudely.

"Seriously?" I ask, and frown at him.

"My opinion. I'll leave you both." He closes the door behind him.

"Something is bothering him." Erwin drops his arm from my shoulder and stands up. He goes back to sit down and I sigh.

"We need to find out what's wrong with him." I place a hand on my forehead, "He is starting to act ridiculous."

"You are right. I'll try to when he cools down." Erwin replies.

"Walls, life is getting confusing. I don't blame him in a way"

"Well, we will eventually retake Wall Maria, and reach Eren's basement. I'm sure many new things will come out of that. You were from Shiganshina right? Any secrets in your basement?" He asks, as a joke.

"No, just dead bodies." I answer. Erwin erupts in laughter and I join him.

***

I found myself standing outside Levi's office that night. I really want to know what's bothering him, but I'm kinda weary, because he might push me away.

Walls, should I even do this?

"Come in." I hear Levi's voice.

Wait, I didn't even knock yet!! I'm not ready. I turn to walk away, but hear his voice again.

"Get in here Brat." I sigh and turn around, opening his door and closing it behind me, with a nervous looking my face.

"What?" He asks, confused.

"Ahaha. Nothing, I'll leave your to your work." I say turning around.

"No shit, Sit." He states. I face him again and notice concern in his eyes. Does he think something is bothering me?

"Okay, I'll be truthful. What is bothering you so bad? You seem quite annoyed and distant more than usual..?" I blurt out. I sit down and watch him.

"Do you have a thing with Eyebrows?" He said, his face and emotions blank.

Then it clicks in my head.

"No I don't have a thing with Erwin! I don't have a thing with anyone. We are just colleagues. That can't be what is actually bothering you, or is it?" I ask.

"No. There's just too much I don't know about you." He says running a hand through his hair.

"Okay, ask away, I will answer truthfully." I make a random gesture.

"How old are you?" He asks, and in taken aback.

"Is that all you wanted to know?" I start chuckling, "I'm 18, going 19 soon."

"Ah... You look really young. I thought you were 15 like Eren." He says.

"How old are you?" I ask. He looks me in the eye and then looks away.

"I'm older than whatever you think. Guess." He asks.

"Well, I thought you were 25, but since you say that, are you 50?" I ask, refraining from laughing.

"No." His chuckles fill the air, "I am 29, going 30 soon."

I try not to show my shock, but I my mouth disagrees and twitches. "Cool." I play it off.

Shorty is 11 years older than me. And I have certain feelings for this short lad.

"It's not obvious, so I guess it doesn't bother most." I add.

"It doesn't. I have another question." He starts, "Who is Ed?"

I tense up and start to think. I said I would answer truthfully. I let out a deep breath and my shoulders slouch.

"I was 10 when I met Ed. He was a nice person and I was stupid enough to fall in love with him. Ed was 15 at the time.

He taught me how to hold a blade, without any specific reason. He thought me how to be a good fighter, and told me how he admired the Survey Cops.

I will admit, Ed did tricked me a lot, and lied a lot. But he was basically the only friend I had, since no one lived close by.

My Father thought he was a bad influence, while my Mother thought he was sweet. I agreed with my Mom. Although we never met his parents.

I knew Ed stole a lot, never knew why, and I still don't. He lived in a big house, in the middle of nowhere, I assumed his parents were rich.

I told Ed how I felt when I was 11, he laughed me off. Told me I was too young. I'm glad we never got together. I remained his friend until I went to visit Ed at our hideout.

Ed was extremely drunk. I never knew he drank, he was only 16 at the time. We fought that day, like usual, but he didn't take it easy on me, like he usually did. We eventually stopped, but Ed was still drunk. He tried to kiss me that day. I fought back, and that was the day I had a moment, similar to you and Mikasa. I knew exactly what to do and ended up beating Ed into a pulp, and didn't see him again for a year.

The only time I saw him was when I went shopping with my Mother. Ed wasn't stealing anything, just buying fruit. We made eye contact and he smirked. My Mother made us talk, but we didn't do much of it. He only said one thing, that's stuck with email since. He said "I got you to where I wanted you too be. I don't care if you hate me. You will survive now."

I've always wondered what he mean't. I thought maybe he only faked trying to kiss me, so I could become stronger. But I wasn't sure why he would bother.

I don't think about him anymore, he's gone from my life, I believe. So there is no need to talk about it."

***

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