My name is Izuku Midoriya, and at the age of five I came to a horrible realization... all DC movies suck. I came to that realization after watching every DC movie, the last and worst being "Aquaman", a movie I had high hopes for. To be honest I don't know why I expected much out of Aquaman, all he can do is breathe underwater and talk to fish. The day after I watched "Aquaman" I had decided to go to the park with my best friend Katsuki Bakugou, but I call him Kacchan. You might be wondering why I call my friend the Japanese word for "mom", and there's a simple answer for that, you see... I'm an asshole, it's as simple as that. "WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'DC MOVIES SUCK?!' DC MOVIES ARE AMAZING YOU LITTLE S.O.B.!", Kacchan yelled while we were swinging on the swings. "I'm telling you, I've never watched one DC movie that I liked or found decent", I told him. Kacchan scowled at me, "If you can tell me one DC movie that's bad I won't brag about how awesome I am until I'm fourteen", Kacchan challenged me with a smug look on his face. "'Green Lantern'", I answered returning Kacchan's smug look. "Damn you Deku!", Kacchan yelled. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, Kacchan calls me Deku which means 'useless.' You're probably wondering why he basically calls me useless, well it's simple... he's an asshole as well, to be honest the only reason he wanted to be my friend is because of how much of an asshole I am.
Many people wonder why I like being an asshole, and why I always like to make jokes, well to be honest it's because it's funny, I honestly like making jokes at other people's expenses. Also, every hero has his or her own trademark, since I want to be one a hero I think being an asshole at others could be my thing. Don't get me wrong, I may be an asshole but I always make sure that I never go as far as to make people cry with my jokes, I may be an ass, but I'm not evil. One last reason I like to be an asshole is because of my quirk "Regenration", even if people beat me up because of my smartass mouth I can just heal myself up and continue making jokes, I actually discovered my quirk because someone punched me after I made a joke. Okay, enough of my boring ass exposition, time to get to the good stuff, my teenage years! I won't bore you with any boring details, I'll just include all the necessary stuff, so I'll start on the day where I made my first ever dirty joke. I was fourteen at the time and I was in class, my teacher was going to give us all aptitude tests, but then he changed his mind, "What's the point of giving you all aptitude tests when I know you all want to be heroes."
Everyone aside Kacchan and I started to cheer but being the amazing person that I am, I decided to ruin the moment, "Hey teach, I'm pretty sure it's mandatory for students to take take their career aptitude tests", I told him with a smug ass grin on my face. The whole class (including the teacher) started booing so I decided to make a deal with them, "Okay, I won't tell the principal that we didn't take our tests if anyone aside from Kacchan can tell me how their quirks can help them with their hero work." No one answered, "That's what I thought, now take your tests and complain about having to do work like the bitches you are", I laughed as I grabbed a test paper off the teacher's desk and started working. Once class was over I started walking home by myself since Kacchan had to run some errands for his mom after school. On my way through a tunnel, a green slime monster cornered me. I stood perfectly still and stared at it, "Ha, ha, scared? Well you should be", it told me. "No, why would I be scared of someone whose quirk makes them look like a mutated mountain of sperm?", I asked it before I realized something. "Crap, I shouldn't have said that!" I yelled in realization. The slime monster grinned maliciously, "I'm glad you realize your mistake you little urchin." "I know, I can't believe I made a horrible mistake... this story is supposed to be PG-13, I can't make jokes like that, I could get in really big trouble for doing stuff like that", I explained.
The slime monster glared at me, "Wait, so you're not afraid of me?! You do realize I'm going to hurt you right?!" I laughed and shook my head, "No, to be honest you like Muk from 'Pokemon', every time I try to imagine you as intimidating, I end up imagining you fighting a Gengar and losing." When the slime monster tried to attack me, I saw that someone had punched it from behind, causing the slime monster to splat everywhere. My attention turned to the person who punched the slime monster, it turned out to be the number one hero, All Might. All Might put the slime into an empty water bottle and turned his attention to me, "HA, HA, HA! Thank you for getting that thing's attention kid, you were a really big help!", he told me with a huge smile on his face. My eyes widened in excitement, "Holy crap, All Might, I'm your number one fan! May I ask you an important question?" "Of course you can my boy, what's your question?" His eyes met my serious gaze, "All Might, I've always wanted to ask you... how many steroids did it take for you to be as buff as you are right now?" All Might's smile didn't falter, but he did gain a confused look on his face, "I'm sorry, what?"
You may not believe me, but my joke really helped me start my path to success. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, this is the story of how I become the world's greatest stripper... I also become the world's greatest hero, but that's not that important.
And that's a wrap on the first chapter of, "That One Guy With The Green Hair", I hope you guys enjoyed. Next chapter will be called, "Annoying All Might." Until next time, later! ✌️
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That One Guy With The Green Hair
FanfictionIzuku Midoriya was born with the most powerful ability in the world... annoying the hell out of everyone with his jokes. Combine that with his Regeneration quirk and One For All, and you know that he'll be having some interesting experiences on his...
