just a dream (camren)

thirty four

posting this on mobile so apologies if the formatting is fucked but you wanted a chapter so you're getting it

i also proof read maybe a week and a half ago but there are probs still some errors so whateverrrr enjoy

also enjoy the pic of lauren at the top she looks so soft we love a bisexual weed princess here on this wattpad account

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April 30th, 2017

"I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not all me." Lauren admits, pacing around Lucy's room. "Like, I remember everything about this life, like I am this person, but I know I'm not, because I've lived the other life. I remember everything from there too. It's just so confusing."

"You've always been you, but we've ruled out the possibility of this place being a dream. It's obviously a separate reality where we still exist, but we developed differently. Being trapped inside the other version of you has to leave a mark," Lucy shrugs, "maybe that means you're both. Like... a big part of you is you, but a smaller part is this version, like how Dinah doesn't really feel wholly herself. This Lauren is still a real person, but because you've always been there subconsciously, she's not been herself at all, because you were always influencing her. If you think about it, Camila has technically never met this Lauren. She's always been with you."

"What about Mani and Ally?" Lauren asks quickly, "Do they know anything?"

"No," Lucy shakes her head. "They don't. Not as far as we know, anyway. It's just you, me, Camila and Dinah."

"Okay..." Lauren trails off, frowning. "You really think I could be both? Just different... percentages?"

"I mean, it's possible," Lucy says, grabbing her hand to stop her from pacing, "stop pacing, you'll end up leaving tracks in my floor. If you remember both, and you have the thoughts of both, then you're both. Partly you but partly her."

"But- that can't be possible, I can't be two people at the same time," Lauren points out, shaking her head. "I have to be one or the other, and I know which one I am. I'm me in the way you're you. But I don't feel like me."

"Yeah, you probably can't be two people at once," Lucy agrees with her, "but maybe we don't switch places completely. That might be why you guys forgot everything, and why Camila and I are forgetting, because there's still a part of this other version of us in the back of our minds and the percentages are switching. If we did switch completely, wouldn't we look like ourselves, too? You and Camila would be twenty. I'd be twenty one. Dinah would be nineteen."

"But... I don't..." Lauren sighs, feeling like banging her head against a wall and seeing if that does anything. Instead, she flops down on Lucy's bed next to her. "I don't get any of this."

"None of us do," Lucy says, "but I kind of have a theory. Maybe it's not a complete switch. Maybe we're like... two parts of the same soul, coming together as one. Maybe that's why you and Dinah remember both, and it'd explain us not ageing up. None of us are different people, we're just different variations of the same soul. Like... these versions of us are just affected by different choices, but at our core, we're still the same person. You're probably not really both, that's just the easiest way to explain it. You've always been you, Lo. You just didn't remember."

"Lucy..." Lauren trails off, staring at her, "I could kiss you. I think you might actually be right."

Lucy snorts. "Save that for Camila. Don't go cheating on another girlfriend."