13 ❀ Stupid Coward

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     Ezra POV

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     Ezra POV


     I can't sleep all night.

     The image of her face is painted on the inner walls of my skull. The expression she wore as the light dulled in her gaze as she listened to what I had to say.

I had said some terrible things to her. As soon as I was walking away all I wanted to do was run back to her and take it back, beg for her forgiveness and acceptance of me.

     But I can't.

     I cant have a mate. I can't give her what she needs. I can't be a loving, doting mate that knows all the right things to say. A relationship? The idea puts a pit in my stomach. I hate myself all the more for it.

     I'm weak. I have no love in my heart. The only thing close to love is what I feel for Klepto. But I had to ruin any chance of being with her. I'm too tempted by her. Too obsessed for her own good.

     If she hates me, then there is no chance of her being hurt when we're too far in to turn back. Then she would realize what she got stuck with.

     As much as I want her, deeply and desperately, I can't have her, and it pisses me off.

     I made sure she knew I can't have her by the horrible way I treated her, and I regret it more than anything I have ever done.

     Rolling over in my bed, I peak at the digital clock sitting on the bed side table.

     7:37 AM

     I sit up, sighing and running a hand through my hair. If a single night without my mate is this hard, I have no idea how I am expected to last the rest of my life.

     I wonder how Klepto feels right now?

     No, I abruptly cut the thought off. Continuing down that road will just lead me to running after her right now.

     Slipping out of bed, I lazily pull on some sweatpants and a T-shirt. As I get dressed, I glance at the small desk parallel to the bed.

     I softly walk over to it and squint down at the landline phone sitting on the oak wood ominously. A small green light flickers on the monitor every few seconds, signaling it's powered up and ready to be used.

     Today is Wednesday.

     That means today is the day I need to give Councilman Cole a call and give him an overview of the mission so far. All the gory details.

     I just can't wait to call him and tell him all about this pack and their safety. It sounds so exciting. I roll my eyes at my sarcastic thoughts that drone on inside my head.

     While I'm at it I can inform him that I found my mate, and that I don't plan on accepting her for my own selfish benefits. Oh, and the fact that I've never been loved so I have no idea how to show affection to another living person.

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