All because I still loved him- 92

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Bakugou pov
"I can't believe we're graduating today." I smiled at Red, helping him style his hair. We had spent three years together, falling more and more in love as time went on. With dates, Christmases, even holidays abroad, we had shared everything with each other. "And after the summer break, we'll be starting at the one of the best hero offices in the country, right here in the city." I helped him fit on his graduation gown. "And we can even go apartment hunting." I couldn't deny how excited I was for us starting a real life together. We were eighteen, about to leave school with our whole future ahead of us.
"It's gonna be, really exciting." Red grinned at me, but with the thumbs up he gave, I could see he was shaking.
"You alright Red?" I asked with concern. Quickly, he dismissed it.
"Yeah yeah, guess I'm just nervous for graduating." At his words, I pulled him in by his gown and looked slightly up into his warm eyes. Over the three years, Red had just overtaken me in height. Even though he was only a tiny bit taller, he spent days telling everyone and continuously talked about it.
"Look, don't be nervous, you should be happy." I kissed him gently, only to then be lifted up from my feet into a huge hug from my boyfriend. "Put- me- down!"

The actual ceremony was short. We all went up and shook hands with Aizawa before listening to a speech from Deku. Our parents came to watch, including Red's which made me happy. Their relationship had really grown, becoming even stronger than what it once was. Kaida seemed okay, despite her cancer; apparently her health hadn't gotten better or worse. Afterwards, our two family's talked for a bit, then just us kids left since UA was holding a small party for the leaving students. It was held in one of the school's many halls, with music and food and lighting. I knew some kids disagreed, but I was so happy to leave. I had such an amazing future planned, one I could spend with the guy I loved. Nearly the whole of our class stood in one large circle, each holding cups of fizzy drinks and plates of mini food. "So Deku, what's your plan again?" I yelled over the loud music to my old rival.
"Oh, well I'm travelling the country for a few months, doing hero work all around." He smiled at me, I gave him a small nod in return.
"Which I'll be joining him on." Added a giddy Ochaco.
"I would've also liked to come, but my dad is making me a sidekick for one of his American friends." I turned to Shoto, who I could tell was not happy.
"And how long is that for?" Mina asked, taking a sip of her drink.
"I don't know yet, but I'll be coming back every few months." Throughout the conversation, I noticed Red wasn't his usual self. In fact, he had been acting strange for almost the whole month, around the time we both got accepted into the city's best hero office.
"Oh this is boring, can we please just actually party now?" I laughed at Denki's enthusiasm.
"Yeah I agree, it is a fucking party after all."

The dancing didn't last long. Since most of our class had no musical rhythm, we all just stood, with some jumping and others swinging their bodies. I hated dancing, yet usually Red could get me in the mood; but not today. Waiting for him to grab my hands and swing my body with his, I was surprised to see him almost lose focus in what he looked at; he had a lost expression. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, wondering what was up. "Red?" I leaned in, forcing eye contact with him. It snapped him out his daze, just for him to look up, causing me to lose my breathe; he didn't look happy.
"Kat, I think we need to talk."

He took me to the empty rooftop, a place us and a few friends had discovered during our second year. I knew I was shaking, what could it be? Would it be good news or bad news? Had he already found us an apartment and was just nervous to say. A million ideas raged on inside my head, yet I remained silent for the whole walk up. He lead me to a few beanbags were had snuck up here all that time ago; they looked out to the city. The sky was falling dark, casting broken shadows along Red's face. As we sat down, I waited for him to speak; eventually, he did. "I love you- I love you so so so much-" he paused, with tears forming in his eyes. I had to swallow down whatever I was about to say, I didn't want to speak; assume things that I could be wrong about. "And I want to spend forever with you, you know that."
"Yes, I do." I said plainly, I just felt sick. I hated not knowing what was happening.
"But- but there's something I need to tell you." He brought his sleeve up to his cheeks and wiped away the water. I couldn't stand how he was taking so long to say it, causing me to come up with worse-case scenarios. "I- I-"
"You what?" I snapped, clearly losing my patience. I knew tears were falling down my cheeks as well. He sighed heavily.
"I wasn't excepted into the the hero office, I didn't get in." Then I relaxed, that was it?
"Oh, why didn't you say so Red, that's fine. They're are plenty of other jobs in the cit-"
"But I got excepted into the Hakeni office." We both paused, looking at each other. Suddenly the future I had planned wasn't so clear, it was hazy and uncertain; but that wouldn't stop me.
"Okay? Look, Red, you can just stay here and- and you can send in late applications, and if not, I'll just support us until next year, then you can try agai-"
"My parents need me Kat." He interrupted me with such an energy that left me almost feeling ill, yet I didn't know why. "They're running low on money, and there's only so much they can get from the government. My dad has two part-time jobs but they're not paying enough. If I go to Haneki I could help care for mum and help pay for the-" I placed my hand on his knee, nodding at him. My whole body felt weak, as if it was grasping for air.
"Okay, okay, that's fine. We can both move down and I'll get a job-" Red stopped holding back his sadness as he burst into tears, shaking his head at me in agony.
"I can't let you do that. You've been accepted into one of the best places into the country, you can't give up your future for me." He sobbed. I leaned forward, just trying to make him see.
"You are my future Red, you're my everything. If it was up to me I'd throw away it all just for you-"
"I- I don't want you coming to Haneki with me." It was almost as if the world had stopped at those words.
"What?"
"You'll thank you. You'll realise that- that you're meant to be here, this is your home Kat." He sniffed, rubbing at his eyes. "And risking all that for me, I can't let that happen."
"Well- well we could just have a long distance relationsh-"
"No Katsuki!" He yelled over me, the emotion in his voice was so raw. "That'll only hurt more! I don't want that pain for either of us!" It felt like I was dying in a way, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
"So that's it, you just want us to end?" My whole body felt stiff, like I was losing all my energy.
"You don't get it, I don't want it to end, but- but it needs to. Your life is here, mine is there. Forcing something wouldn't be healthy, for either of us." We both had stopped crying, it more felt like I was grieving at this point. It was like some sort of nightmare, I couldn't escape it though; no way to wake up from it. He had made up his mind.
"When do you leave?" I said with complete lack of feeling.
"I'm going with my parents on the train- tomorrow." He just looked at the ground, he was ashamed.
"Why-" my voice cracked, "why didn't you tell me before? Why wait till now?"
"I was meant to tell you a while back but- but I just couldn't." I just shook my head at him, so angry and frustrated.
"You let me believe we had a future, when this whole time you lied." I had to bite my lip.
"It's not like that Kat-"
"I get it, don't worry. You just don't want to be with me, so you're using this as an excuse."
"Kat please don't thin-"
"I knew it." I stood up, not knowing what I 'knew'. In that moment, I just couldn't stop thinking how broken I felt, how broken my whole life had just became.
"Kat please don't go-"
"Don't, Red," I began to head to the door, my back fully to him. "And have fun in Haneki, but please," I briefly turned to my ex boyfriend, we were both sobbing. "Never talk to me again."

I just stared at my bare roof, allowing the sound of the summer storm to overwhelm me. I remembered all of it, every agonising moment. The memory of me crying in my dorm, ignoring the constant knocking from Red in the hallway. All the messages and calls that I completely ignored. I didn't even see his train off, I just let him go. It had almost been two whole years since that all went down, and I hadn't seen or talked to him once. I occasionally saw him in the news, and I had ignored all his messages until he finally gave up. The time would've been easier if I didn't love him, but even so; two years later, I laid on my bed, crying about a boy from to years ago. All because I still loved him.

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