LETTERS TO REALITY ✓

JUNGKOOK

LETTER FIVE
To Jeon Jungkook

You were the boy whose being was too wonderful.

You made me feel the way my favourite colour palette felt- pastel, merry, blooming colours of craven, blue and pink. You know how the sky looks early in the morning? Like that. Your eyes reminded me of honey, flicks of little treasures of gold whenever you smiled. Fuzzy lambs and soft animals made you more excited than anything. Your hair carrying flowers in twisted crowns, daisies tucked behind your ears as we laughed side by side and your hair smelt like vanilla in the wind. You were like peach daydreams, wanting to escape from reality and pretty words that you were too shy to send. Telling you my thoughts felt like confiding in the moon, waiting all day to be embraced by your long arms. You made me feel the sweetest kind of comfort.

I met you through Taehyung of course. You were the rabbit in the costume- Kooky. That became my nickname for you. Little did I know, inside that costume, you were hiding behind a mask, afraid to truly be you.

We started to spend time together due to you being best friends with my boyfriend. I never minded your presence. I don't think anyone did but you thought differently. You were always so reserved, placid and compassionate. You paid attention to people and the big wide world. I'd be eager to see the reflections of the world through your eyes. You made me laugh, actively listened to me, conversed in easy talks with me whenever you could and drove me to places if I ever needed a ride. A gentleman.

On the outside you were a polite, calm boy that did what people said, always smiling and... You fascinated me. I wanted to know more about you, what you were really like. What you thought of the future, were you a turbulent tempest inside? What was the real Jungkook like? Was he like me?

It's crazy how I got the answer to that question in an unexpected way.

I caught Taehyung cheating on me. So, I stormed away, bumping into you and you offered to go back to your apartment.

I followed you, a figure dressed in all black with the edge of red of your beanie. I'd been at yours before. We had spent time together in the past, watching droll yet interesting YouTube videos or helping each other with university work. But there was a certain tension in the air, a sign that maybe something was going to happen soon.

Something pleasant yet wrong.

We were simply having home made, hot chocolate with our legs crossed, our sides touching barely. Until you decided to kiss me unexpectedly.

Your cold hand wrapped around the back of my neck as you pulled me closer to you, your cold rings being felt against my skin. I closed my eyes, shutting my boyfriend out, shutting the world out and I kissed you back just as passionately. There was no falseness.

Because if Taehyung could go kiss someone, so could I.

Our first kiss was precise and tender. It made me feel something. I remember how I could feel your heart beating rapidly against your chest, how you tugged my lip when I kissed you back and how I pulled at the ends of your raven coloured hair, wanting to be closer and closer. One thing was certain from the kiss, it wouldn't be a one-time thing at all.

But then it hit me just what I was doing. I was kissing my boyfriend's best friend without guilt. My confused boyfriend who I had caught stupidly cheating on me over an hour ago.

So, I pushed you away, my hands not wanting to leave your chest but to stay clenched. I got up from the couch. "I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have done that." Tumbled from my lips as you sprawled back on the couch, silent as you rubbed your thighs.