'anne with an e' imagines and preferences

flames {part 3} | gilbert blythe

bold- gilbert's pov
normal - your pov

you are the reason - calum scott

there goes my heart beating, cause you are the reason. i'm losing my sleep, please come back now

i miss him like crazy. the day i told him we couldn't ever be together was the hardest day of my life. it took every ounce of strength i had not to go fall back into his arms.

at night i still think about him. i think about all the memories we made, all the long talks, and the hugs, and kisses, and the love. i couldn't sleep, knowing he was right down the street, and i left him just like he left me.

i wish i would've forgiven him.

there goes my mind racing, and you are the reason that i'm still breathing, i'm hopeless now.

i laid in bed, wondering if he thought of me too. probably not. i broke his heart almost just as much as he broke mine...almost.

why did he get away with hurting me so bad? why do i still love him? after i left his house, i cried for the rest of the night. i know, super dramatic, but he was my first love. i lost him for good, and it was because i couldn't forgive him.

now, as i lay here, all alone, i realized i do forgive him. i forgive him for deciding to leave, for saying goodbye, for not sending letters. i forgive him for it all, because i love him.

there goes my hand shaking, and you are he reason. my heart keeps bleeding, i need you now.

i got up from bed the next morning with bleary eyes and tired body. i barely slept a wink, because i couldn't stop my heart from racing.

my hands shook as i pulled on my dress. i tried to do my hair, but i ended up dropping the brush. my lip quivered, and i tried my best to hold in the tears. i should've forgiven him, kept echoing in my ears.

i decided not to do my hair. if mother scolded its untidiness, then let her. i am not in the mood.

if i could turn back the clock, i'd make sure light defeated the dark. i'd spend every hour of every day keeping you safe.

did i really have to leave? i mean, i just lost my father, but did i really have to cut her off too? y/n was—is—the love of my life, and i pushed her away. i let her go. why?

i trudged around my house getting ready for school. bash sat right next to the fire, trying to keep warm. his jokes made me laugh, but not the way she could.

if i could turn back time, i would've stayed for her. i didn't know how much she actually loved me, and if i did, i know i would've reconsidered.

i would've stayed, just so i could be with her. maybe then the world wouldn't be upside down.

i don't wanna fight no more.

i want to love again.

i don't wanna hurt no more.

i want to fix what i broke.

i don't wanna cry no more.

i want to be happy again. so i decided to walk to his house. i wanted to make things right again.

as i approached his house, i pulled my coat tighter around myself. the snow was getting in my boots and it was very uncomfortable.

the panic in my chest grew with every step i took. when i saw him sitting there, alone on his porch, in the snow, i almost turned around.

no, you have to talk to him, i told myself. when he saw me approaching, he quickly stood up. this time, i didn't restrain myself.

and i'd climb every mountain, and swim every ocean, just to be with you, and fix what i've broken.

i ran to him as fast as i could. once i reached him i grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in for the tightest hug i've ever given. i wildly clutched his back, and breathed in his sweet scent. he pulled me closer and held on tight to my waist.

oh, cause i need you to see...

"i love you gilbert! i love you so much and i can't take it! i'm sorry i didn't forgive you!" i sobbed and held his face in my hands. he held on even tighter (if that was even possible).

"i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry. i love you and i can't believe i left you," he said, and his voice told me he was crying too. he kept shaking his head, as if he was regretting all his past decisions.

i pulled out of the embrace and wiped away his tears with my thumb. his nose was pink—either from the crying or the cold air. he leaned his cheek into my hand, and kissed my palm.

"how could i have ever walked away from you?" he asked softly. i shook my head.

"you're not the only one who walked away," i responded with a heavy heart.

...you are the reason.

"i love you more than anything. don't you ever forget that," he whispered. i nodded, and kissed his forehead. it was a soft, slow kiss, and he leaned his head on my shoulder. i rubbed his back in slow circles, trying to calm him down, as well as myself.

"you're the reason i came back," he said. i smiled.

"i know," i whispered. he nodded, and we stayed there for a long time, hugging in the cold. but i didn't care, because i finally gained enough courage to get my love back.

you are the reason.

i'm so sorry if this isn't good enough...hahaaa