Weird and Weirder

CH6. Daph's POV - The Inner Light

Chapter 6 – Daph's POV

The Inner Light

I could have skipped my first day back to school. I was still a little woozy after my flight and I barely slept three hours last night. I want to snuggle in bed, preferably with a sexy warm blooded companion.

Unfortunately, Kevin is still home and there is no possibility of peace and joy if we're less then one mile away from each other. My mother and my step dad left this morning to go to work, but, Despicable-Kevin doesn't have a job so he's always there.

When I walk into the kitchen to grab myself a Poptart to go, he's sitting there in the kitchen at the table playing some useless game on his phone.

"Good morning, Freak Show," he greets me.

My response is immediate, "fuck off."

He's used to it, so he's not fazed anymore. Instead, he has the audacity to ask me, "hey, would you mind passing me that apple? And cutting it in pieces for me."

I could cut you in pieces. "Do I look like your personal servant?"

He snorts. I think about the fact that I could totally survive in prison if I killed him. I'd be an alpha bitch because I would be there for murder so people would be scared of me, and I plan on dismembering him, so people would run away from me. "you look like a girl, and isn't that what girls are supposed to do. Speaking of which, I threw my dirty clothes in the washing machine, if you could start a load for me, that'd be great."

"Kevin, if I had enough food inside of me right now to vomit I would keep it in my hands and then shove it down your throat and make sure you choked on it."

"Jesus, you really are Freak show. Thank god we're not related."

He walks out of the room and I grab one of the biggest knives in the cutlery rack and just raise it over my head, ready to stab him in the back.

Relax Master Dadaphnoo. Think happy thoughts. Think sexy shirtless boys. Think about kissing strangers in bathrooms.

            I get to school relatively earlier because I want to get to the library and see Miss Pumpernickel to see which days I could work at the library. It's not the most amusing way to spend a lunch break but it's really good on a college application. Technically, I know I want to go study to be a nurse when I get out of high school, but sometimes I let myself dream bigger dreams, like maybe actually go to college and become a doctor. I don't think I have it in me though. It's still a nice thought and I'll still do a bunch of useless shit to keep the dream alive, even if I know it's unreachable. 

            Dealing with Miss Pump in the morning is kind of a pain though. I think she's sexually frustrated. She's either not getting any, or if she is getting some, it's really not any good.

            Sometimes I think I should write a book for boys so they can know a thing or two, it'd probably be called something like The Clit is Your Friend. But then my whole good girl cover would be blown.

            Miss Pump looks her usual furious self when I walk in the library. I put on my best fake smile and walk up to her.

"Hello Miss Pumpernickle, I just wanted to inform you that I'm back from my trip and I'm available if you ever need me to do any shifts at the library, f you haven't made the schedule yet, or even if you just need me to replace people," I say as enthusiastically as I can muster.