the diary // jensoo

it starts here (20)

jennie

my body laid motionless on jisoo's bed, my gaze is glued to the window that was covered by heavy snow. for some reason, my chest felt really heavy and i could barely muster any strength to even move a single limb. it felt as if my guts got twisted and took out my body. needless to say, i felt really empty.

i really swallowed all my pride for jisoo. i really did. but i guess i swallowed it a little bit too late.

as i silently laid on jisoo's soft mattress, my mind couldn't help but drift to the days where my family was still complete and beyond happy and grateful.

a deep, pain-filled sigh was all it took for me to take an unwanted trip down to memory lane where pain and sorrow didn't exist in my dictionary.

flashback, 2 years ago.

with a grin, i happily stepped out of my bus and pretty much sprinted into my front door. i inserted my keys and pushed the door open with such enthusiasm that it made my maid jump a little, but she still flashes me a smile right after. i smiled her a similar smile and skipped into the living room where i was guaranteed to see my parents.

my smile grew wider when i see my mom and dad sitting comfortably on one of the sofas while watching a random drama on the korean channel.

it was mom that first noticed my presence. when our eyes met, she grinned at me as if i'm the most precious thing she had ever seen.

"look whose home," mom patted dad's shoulder and almost instantly he teared his eyes from the television to look at me.

he grinned at me also, his grin almost close to mom, but if i'm being honest, mom's smile is too precious and wonderful for comparison.

"welcome back, sweetheart," dad cooed and made space between him and mom so i'll be able to sit in the middle of them.

i plopped myself down, sandwiched by two of my most important people in my life.

"how's your first day as a freshmen?" dad asked before wrapping an arm around my shoulder and gently pulling me in so that i could rest my head on top of his broad shoulder.

"it was really good!" i replied with a smile. "my teachers are really nice and i have a lot of classes with rosé and lisa."

"that's really good then," this time, it was mom that spoke. "should i make you lunch for tomorrow? i know that you're really not a fan of cafeteria foods."

i instantly perked up at mom's statement, my smile reached a whole new level of bubbly.

"would you really do that for me?" i asked.

"is that even a question?" mom playfully scoffed before ruffling my hair. "of course, i'd really do that for you!"

dad's shoulders bounced lightly indicating that he's giggling. "honey, should i help you with nini's lunch for tomorrow?"

mom raised a curious brow. "no thanks," she deadpanned which earned a hearty laugh from me. "we all know that you can't cook to save a life," she said before laughing along with me.

dad folded his arms, and playfully rolled his eyes. mom and i knew that he wanted to stay straight faced -- we were after all laughing at him for his lack of culinary skills. but i guess our laughs were contagious because his lips twitched upwards and he was giggling despite himself.

"both of you are so mean," he uttered and finally busted laughing just like the both of us.

i couldn't help but smile peevishly at the bittersweet memory of what used to be my exact definition of perfect.