Can We Just Be Us? | KiriBaku

Rooftop apologies- 100

Kirishima pov
It had been a rough few days. After Katsuki storming out of the party on Friday, I had spent the rest of the night forcing myself to laugh and smile when in reality, I just wanted to leave. During the boat trip, when I realised Katsuki wouldn't be showing up, I was silently grateful, yet also ashamed. It meant there wouldn't be awkwardness or anger, but then there wouldn't be any reconciliation. As I finally got through all the paparazzi at the entrance, I wondered if he would show up or not. "Oh god I love a red carpet." I turned around to see Mina Ashido, wearing a green, sparkling cocktail dress. I just wore a suit.
"Oh hey Mina." I waved, thankful I finally had a chance to speak to her alone. We hadn't spent much time together so far, which was surprising since we use to be best friends. She looked up from her purse, and smiled in surprise.
"Oh, Eijirou. Hey." Skipping, she came and stood next to me as we began walking through the empty hallway, we were probably the first few to arrive.
"So, So is Katsuki not coming?" I thought it was safe to assume since they did arrive together on the first night.
"Unless he was lying to me, he is. He just doesn't care for being early, you know him." She said, glancing up at me. Clearly she could read my face. "You alright Eijirou?"
"Umm, yeah, sorry. It's just this is just a lot." I said awkwardly.
"Do you want my advice on the whole situation?"
"Please." Mina was close to Katsuki, so she would hopefully know what to do.
"You two are gonna go up on that roof and talk about whatever you want until you make up, okay," I nodded shakily. "And don't, I repeat, don't let him play the victim and just feel sorry for himself, and he's not allowed to storm off."
"You do realise he hates me, right?" I said casually, trying to mask the hurt in my voice. Surprisingly, she scoffed and shook her head.
"He does not hate you."
"Really well it sure seems like he d-"
"Oh please Eijirou, I've been friends with him for two years now, I'd know if he hates you." Then we both felt silent. The question was on the tip of my tongue, I just didn't know if I wanted the answer.
"Mina."
"Yeah?"
"So how does he feel about me?" I knew we were reaching closer to the entrance of the party hall, so I asked quickly. Mina just sighed and pat my back.
"That's something that you two need to talk about."

I wish I could've enjoyed the party. Being back in UA felt great, talking and catching up with the teachers. But there was that constant fear of Katsuki Bakugou. When he arrived, I kept my back to him. I stayed looking at Shinso and Aizawa, forcing myself into the conversation just so I didn't focus on Kat. Part of me thought that I could just ignore him, but that's not what I wanted. Despite me trying my best to forget, I knew I still loved him. It was a strange type of love though, one that I couldn't quite decipher. Did I love the memory of him, the idea of him? Or did I actually want to marry the boy? I quickly shook away the thought of the wedding, imagining us two saying our vows. Even thinking about that would just confuse me more. Thankfully, we had Mina. "Okay so it's been like an hour, what are you waiting for?" I turned around and saw the pink-haired girl, holding a drink.
"Oh, there's no need to rush-"
"Hmm," she raised an eyebrow, "he said the exact same thing."
"Okay but-"
"Don't try it Eijirou," suddenly a smirk formed on her face. "It's all sorted now. I know how you two think." She tapped the side of her head.
"And what does that mean?" I asked nervously.
"Look, you go to the roof and wait. Then I'll send Katsuki up, okay?"

As I opened the door to the roof, the smooth, warm air enveloped my body. The view of the night sky and the city was revealed, creating a beautiful yet haunting atmosphere. Just like two years ago, a few beanbags were scattered along the rooftop, and of course, someone was sitting in one; Katsuki. "Oh, you're already here?" I said cautiously, silently cursing at Mina. He turned, looking confused.
"Yeah? Did Mina not tell you?"
"She told me that I'd come up here to wait for you." It was clear what she had done.
"Guess she lied." He stated, still sitting on the beanbag. I couldn't deny how fast my heart was racing, how my mind was flooded with nerves. I also couldn't deny how stunning he looked. The night sky lit up his face in a way that was otherworldly, like a creature from the Fae. His hooded eyes had a sense of integrity and longing that took away my breath. In that moment, I felt nothing other than him; his presence, his being. But he wasn't mine; he was just a memory of something I once had.  "So are you gonna sit or?"
"Oh- yeah, right." I went and awkwardly sat on the seat next to him, shuffling back so there was enough distance. I clasped my hands together, trying to hide how nervous I was. There would be no point preventing what needed to be said, so; "I'm sorry." Katsuki looked at me, his ghostly, beautiful face sending chills throughout my body.
"Okay." He sighed, clearly waiting for me to carry on.
"I should of told your earlier, about me leaving."
"Yeah. Would've gave me more time to think, you know." His arms were crossed, probably because he didn't want to show that he was shaking too.
"And- and I'm sorry for not trying to fight for us." I said it, I said it out loud. It felt so raw, so personal to admit that I had made a huge mistake. Sitting there, Katsuki looked so hallow, it pained me.
"Why didn't you?" I wanted to scream. I didn't know why, but his question suddenly shifted me into an unconditional sadness. How was I meant to respond.
"I- I thought it would be for the best, but clearly it wasn't-"
"Did you stop loving me, is that why you ended it?" He asked it in a way that seemed like he didn't want to know the answer. And again, I wanted to scream.
"I've never stopped loving you." The words slipped out so effortlessly that it was almost meant to happen; but it shouldn't of. "Wait- no, it wasn't because I stopped loving you, that's ridiculous. I thought the reason I ended it was because I love you, but I was wrong. And what I meant was- you'll always be my first love, and in a way I'll always love you."
"I know what you mean." Katsuki said so simply, but it conveyed so much emotion; emotion I couldn't understand. For a moment, a pure, delicate moment, we just stared at each other. It was like, for those few seconds, I got to know him again, remember him again, love him again. "Maybe I should say something now."
"Please."
"Okay," He sighed, putting his hands on his knees. "You are- I just-" he looked exhausted, as if trying to find the right words out of the millions that swarmed inside his head. "I- I think we should go on a picnic." The phrase came out so spontaneously. I found myself laugh with awkwardness.
"What?" I said, leaning in. He seemed just as confused as me.
"Erm, like- I don't know why I said that but like- we've both moved on," I winced, knowing that I hadn't; I couldn't tell him that though. "So- Wait, I forgot, you're going back to Haneki tomorrow-"
"Actually I'm staying the week, for that charity ball on Saturday." I grinned at him, genuinely happy that I had made him smile. The look he gave me was something, even though I could still read the sadness behind it. "So yeah, we can go on like, Wednesday?"
"Oh- err, yeah. Yeah!" His eyes lit up, as if recalling a memory. I felt the same though, our first date was a picnic. But this time, we were just friends. "So, we haven't sorted everything out."
"Oh." The lightness of the conversation quickly died.
"But, it's something, and, and we can really sort things out on Wednesday." He nodded, assuring himself that what he was saying was right.
"Okay, okay. So, I'll see you Wednesday." We both stood up before deciding to go in for a hug. It was warm, comforting, but emotionally draining. It would be all I'd get, the feeling of his strong arms wrapping around me, his head resting on my shoulder. I just pretended he was mine in that moment; until he let go.
"So, Ill be going down now." He waved awkwardly as he headed to the door.
"Oh alright, I'll be down in a sec." I called, watching him descend the stairs. And as he left, I couldn't stop thinking to myself; wow, I wanted to kiss him.
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We reached 100 chapters! Omg! It's so surreal that I've actually spent enough time and effort into anything. And it's thanks to you guys, because all the support and love from you all has just been amazing and has really pushed me, thank you!