Poems by Me [IN PROGRESS]

XIII

Three simple words.

I love you.

Yet it sears into my brain like electricity trying to reroute all that is wrong with you and make you right.

Like it wasn't you that walked out on me.

I gave you myself bit by bit compelled by the hunger to be loved and accepted.

I clung to your every word no matter how hurtful.

I tore myself down to have you build me back up as if I were in dire need to be fixed.

I was petrified by the thought of you leaving.

Until eventually you did.

So when you say I love you,

I hear myself say "No," but am I really saying that word?

Am I strong enough to cast you outside of my heart?

Am I strong enough to forget that you were once a part of me?

Am I strong enough to evict you from my heart where you've drilled ten feet deep and planted your roots?

How can I take you off of me?

Because no matter how hard I scrub, those red marks are you.

Is it cheesy to say that I still love you after all you've put me through?

Because I do.

God, I hate that I do.

We're a toxic relationship, you and I.

You'll never be what I need and I'll never be good enough for you.

I've had a chance to accept that.

So, you can go ahead and hate me as I tell you goodbye.

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