Across Acheron

Session 22

It wasn’t hard pretending to be a teen like I thought it would be. I mean, all I ever had to do was complain, listen to what others had to say, and fall asleep like I didn’t have a problem with the dark.

Nights were still difficult for me back then. The stars, the moon, and the distant swish of the trees in the wind drove me crazier than they should have. Not that I heard any voices or anything like that. It was more of that normal kind of crazy; the type that everyone has. You know, when you end up staring past your eyelids, forgetting things you shouldn’t, and start thinking a lot about death and how the world would go on without you.

I never told Keenan about the things that went on inside my head when he wasn’t around. He had other things to worry about; things that were far more important than me. So I did what any other human being would do when put in those kinds of situations. I read books until my eyes bled, helped people out until they couldn’t see the bad in me, and pretended that I was alright.

There was a moment where I sort of lost it, though. I think it happened the following day after my little talk with Isaac in the kitchen. I hadn’t been able to sleep and the digital clock beside my bed kept counting minutes, even though I begged for it to stop for a moment. I couldn’t seem to catch up with time and I hated it.

So I got out of bed and walked out of the room. Lorna was on patrol; she had a chair at the end of the hallway and watched me walk right down the stairs without saying a single word.

I knew it was far too late to walk out of the front door. Halfway to the middle of the driveway and the cold was already travelling throughout my body from my feet. I heard the click-clacking of Lorna’s heels behind me, keeping a safe distance away. I didn’t mind her, though. I kept thinking about things I normally wouldn’t have to think about. How many breaths have I taken so far? Should I let my hair grow long?

Why don’t all my plans fall through?

Lorna brought me back into the house once I reached the end of the driveway. As soon as she did, I doubled over and puked blood all over the marble floors. The funny part about the whole thing was the fact that she didn’t even say anything about it. I told her not to tell Keenan about the blood, she nodded, and the next thing I knew, I was standing half naked and watching her clean up the mess I made.

I wasn’t sure why she decided to keep my secret, but I didn’t bother asking.

Anyway, Isaac didn’t talk to me for two days straight after what happened in the kitchen. We saw each other in the halls at times, but he only looked at me wearily for a short moment before moving on.

Even though Isaac looked paler than usual, Keenan was gaining his spark back. He knew that he was getting closer to his goal and he couldn’t wait until it was complete. It made me sick, to be honest.

I went back into my room after I had helped clean the recreation centre. Finn had been sour for the past two days because of the pills he lost; he usually sat at the corner of his bed for hours just because he couldn’t find the right fix. But by the time I walked in there, he seemed alright. He was etching something onto his desk with a pen.

“You shouldn’t succumb to being a pet for the enemy, Jack,” he said to me. It was the first time I heard his voice in 48 hours. “You’ll end up being brainwashed like the rest of them.”

I sighed and sat down on my bed, staring at him. “How are you holding up? I heard you’re returning to class on Monday.”

Finn snorted, spinning in his seat to face me. “My mother told me to ‘take a break’ and ‘think about what I had done’. She’s just quoting the books. We were supposed to meet today—we meet every two Sundays—so she’s probably glad that I messed up.”