Remnants of the Heart | Kim Taehyung

36: manque

ACT 4 – SCENE 4.
SHE MISSES

IT'S OFFPUTTING how the worst thoughts tend to come during the most trivial times. Seojung never asks to think about Taehyung whenever she stumbles upon something that she can associate him with. But that's how the brain works. Your sense perception picks up whatever you find familiar, triggering a stimulus that's transmitted to the hippocampus of the brain, and generates a response that will either make you smile in retrospect or wallow in longing. It's a process that's compromised of more processes that take less than a millisecond to finish, but if Seojung had it her way she'd let her neurons have a break and happily filter what she wants and doesn't want to remember.

It's just easier to think of it as simple science rather than accept the fact that all things are eventually reduced to processed memories. Frankly, Seojung wants to not think about Taehyung as she shops for snacks. Spotting a brand of chips she knows he likes a lot shouldn't be giving hard this much of a hard time. But when you let someone take over most of your days, you're unconsciously letting them leave traces of themselves as they go. So in a way, it's Seojung's own fault that she's even like this.

The girl pays for her purchases, thanking the cashier with a smile and walks out of the store. The afternoon sun basks her in a comfortable warmth that's perfect for a day of exploring. She heads back to the apartment building with plans to walk around and visit some places soon, knowing just how much she needs to clear her head.

"Noona!"

A face she didn't expect to see lights up upon stepping into her building. Haesung is standing by the elevator with a plastic bag in his hand, smiling at her with his eyes, looking as bright as ever. Seojung adored him. There was nothing not to love about the sweet boy. He would tag along whenever Taehyung came over to her house back then with his excuse being that he needed her to help him with homework. With a face like that, how was she supposed to say no?

At first, she raises an eyebrow in confusion as to why the young boy would be here out of all places. He's the last person Seojung expected to run into, though she is glad that it's him. But him being here means that Taehyung is around, and that she's probably going to run into him too very soon.

"Haesung? What are you doing in Seoul?"

"I'm visiting hyung for the weekend!" Haesung exclaims excitedly. "Please don't tell him I sneaked out of the apartment to buy milk. I'm not supposed to leave the building without him. I know you live right across the hallway."

Seojung smiles. That's a nice thing to hear, and she wished that she heard about it sooner so she could spend more time with the boy. Taehyung would've told her if they were on better terms.

"I miss you," Haesung suddenly confesses, making her smile even wider. She's always had a soft spot for him.

"I miss you too, kiddo."

"Taehyung hyung used to talk about you a lot. Whenever I had trouble sleeping when I was younger I'd have him tell me stories, but he usually just ended up talking about you. I liked to tease him by saying you two were going to get married someday. He'd tell me to shut up."

She tries to keep her smile intact, but it manages to disappear anyway the longer Haesung talks about his older brother. It's unfair because she has been trying really hard to avoid him at all costs, forcing herself to dismiss the small thoughts she has of him every hour, only to have him be thrown at her like this.

"I see," is all the girl can offer.

Right at that second, the elevator doors open and reveals Taehyung, but the first thing Seojung can register is his bruised face. It brings the urge to ask how he got his eye terribly swollen like this, or if he had done anything stupid to get it, but none of that is her business so she stays quiet.

He looks at her, and then at his brother. "There you are! I went up and you weren't there. You almost gave me a heart attack. You should've waited until I got back."

"Relax. I just went to a mini-mart nearby to get some milk because you're lousy with groceries, apparently." That's something Seojung can vouch for because she used to be the one to remind Taehyung to do his groceries whenever he's running out. Used to help him do it to because he said he liked shopping with her. "Are you heading up too, Noona?"

Does she want to be stuck in an elevator with Taehyung and his sweet younger brother? Of course not, but she's not going to say no because that will be weird considering that she's carrying groceries herself, and she's not smart enough to come up with a plausible excuse that won't have Haesung asking questions.

So she steps on and endures a very agonizing five seconds of silence before they reach their floor. Haesung walks out first, but she and Taehyung walk out at the same time and bump into each other awkwardly. They lock eyes for a brief second before Taehyung decides to step out first.

Haesung asks her if they can hang out soon, so Seojung tells him of course and that he can knock on her door whenever he wants to. The younger boy disappears into the apartment, leaving Seojung and Taehyung standing in the hallway, saying nothing to each other when there are too many things that should be said. With the way he's hanging around by the doorway with his hands in his pockets, it almost seems like he's waiting for something to happen.

"It wasn't anything bad, in case you were wondering. About the bruise," Taehyung says.

Seojung is not looking at him. She busies herself with her keys. "Good to know."

He doesn't say anything else after that. She already has one hand on the handle when she turns around, deciding last minute that they should at least make use of this opportunity to have a useful conversation, only to see the door closing as he gets inside his apartment.

Seojung missed her chance, but Taehyung has missed many more.

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here's a (terribly written, very short) filler chapter because i like to ignore my responsibilities and assignments and im just so fucking eager to finish this book!!!!!!! also i forgot how old haesung should be at this point hGHHHH

just an fyi im planning for this to have around 45 chapters so i guess we're nearing the end :D

no question this time just leave me your thoughts and predictions for the ending if you feel like it i love reading them.

thanks for ur support i'd suck all of your dicks if i could uwu