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WHEN SUDDEN DARKNESS SHROUDS AND ALL ELSE DIMS, WE ARE LEFT WITH BUT TWO OPTIONS. We can either anxiously anticipate whatever we might see when the light returns, or we can swim blissfully in the dark expanse of unforeseeable ignorance. Needless to say, Naomi's resolution came without question.
The exact time that which the light and all her realities slipped out of her periphery didn't mean much for Naomi Morgan now, resting silently in fields of pitch blackness. In fact, when everything around her had vanished, she did nothing to fight it. She did not want to fight it. Why would she refuse a place where The Fox Performing Arts Centre and all the Academy dancers did not exist? Where expectations and aspirations were pointless? Why would she run out of her own heaven?
And for just that period of time, it was as beautiful as it sounded. There was nothing and there was no need for there to ever be anything. It just was. In that way, it was a higher sense of living than Naomi Morgan had ever experienced. But then, the light cracked and life came pouring back in— muddily and rank.
When Naomi's eyes managed to flicker open, fear seeped through. Greeting her were unfamiliar white walls, a constant ringing in her ears and a feeling of dread sunken deep into her chest. She gripped the first thing she could find— sheets laying under her— until her eyes adjusted and her body felt more grounded on the hard mattress. She went to sit up when an arm pinned her back down.
"Don't try to move too much, honey," a voice soothed, "The doctor said you should try to relax." Mrs Morgan looked unkempt in the slightest of ways as she pushed her daughter's hair out of her face carefully. Naomi Morgan tried to take in each of those mishaps within the sheer of her under-applied concealer and unconvincingly contented smile, but taking in every detail on her face caused Naomi's stomach to feel like it was falling deeper and deeper each time into a dark pit brimming with shame.
Naomi gulped and scanned the rest of the room. Her little brother was folding his arms and looking at her lowly, an anxious tick working on his left knee and tightening his jaw. Mr Carson was sitting behind him, speaking lowly on his phone with urgency.
Naomi held her breath, her elbows still keeping her halfway up. Then she spoke, "What happened?"
Mr Carson hung up immediately and stood at the same time that William stilled. Mrs Morgan smiled a little wider, hovering silently. "Don't talk. You'll be fine."
Tripping over her own thoughts, Naomi did not try to speak again. This time, she held it in and tried to piece together what was happening on her own. It was a fruitless number of seconds that passed by before the room door swung in. It introduced Mr Morgan, tie loosened and sleeves rolled above his elbows, and a tall doctor trailing behind him. The doctor seemed pretty calm in her white coat and humble eyes, it made Naomi rest easy just a little. She stalked up to Naomi's bed and gently moved Mrs Morgan back a little. "Hi, Naomi. My name is Doctor Gonzales. How are you feeling?"
Answering felt like giving in, but Naomi just didn't know what else to do. So, she complied. "I'm okay," she said, the words tasting ridiculous on her tongue.
"What do you remember?" Doctor Gonzales asked.
There wasn't much other than bits and pieces. It was all blurred and overshadowed, and perhaps Naomi would have dug deeper to remember every cohesive thing but the memories were dipped in misery and dread. She could not reach for any of them without fear fully overwhelming her. Naomi Morgan shook her head. She didn't want to know. Blinking away building tears, she swallowed the lump growing in her throat and asked, "Why am I in here?" No one answered right away.
"You passed out earlier today." Doctor Gonzales had a tone deserving of every ounce of Naomi Morgan's envy. She spoke as if nothing had ever hurt her. Like her life was perfect. "Your dance instructor brought you in," she finished.
"Is that all?" Naomi's eyes glazed the rest of the room as she asked them all slowly.
When Mr Carson took a deep sigh and found himself a seat in a far chair, Naomi quickly realized that everyone else was the wiser to what was about to be said. Her father held his wife steadily, and William who was now standing near the foot of the bed, hesitantly avoiding her eye contact. Naomi gritted her teeth and licked her lips. "What is it?" she exasperated. Ripping off the band-aid would be better. How bad could it be? Naomi convinced herself she could handle anything. She'd live. She'd dance. She'd survive. Just like she has been this entire time.
Doctor Gonzales didn't budge, but her voice was regretful. "Your ankle is suffering from a lot of pressure, Naomi. Your toes are in an abysmal state. You'll be fine eventually, but I have to insist that you not dance for a while, maybe a year, in order for your body to recover." Naomi felt any idle hope of her future in the NYC ballet company expel itself from her body.
Perhaps the doctor heard Naomi's organs give out one by one as loudly as Naomi did, or maybe she saw the complete devastation happening within the expressions on her face because she added quickly, "We've put a brace on your ankle which should help your foot heal a lot quicker. Don't worry, you'll be on your feet in no time." The room spun and Naomi Morgan sat in the centre of it, begging the darkness to come back and take her— this time, to never let her go again.
"Just relax and breath." Doctor Gonzales said calmly.
One deep breath. Two. A third, and soon a fourth. Naomi Morgan counted today as the day that she died.
Author's Note
Guys! We just made the Watty's shortlist! 😭😭 thank you so much to everyone who's reading. In all honesty, I'm still in shock. None of it feels real.
This week's dedication is 100% going to @Tinu_O for every single vote she's left! I don't deserve you! Ilysm! Thank youuuu!
This is the end of Part One, guys. What do you think about the book so far and Naomi's journey? Where do you think she will go from here? Let me know in the comments so we can talk! (Also the tea is I just wrote this chapter so if it's bad I really apologize omg)
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IN THE NEXT CHAPTER...
I don't care," William said suddenly next to her.
Naomi looked at him. No part of her could really move so she didn't bother to wipe her tear-stained cheeks with her hands. Outside, the siblings easily heard their father insist that ramps were unnecessary because Naomi only has the wheelchair for today, but inside, the car was muted and held only them.
Naomi cleared her dry throat to attempt to speak but William didn't let her. "Whether you ever dance again or not, I don't care," he clarified simply. "You're still my sister...
