it's always ourselves that we find in the sea || jensoo

Chapter 32

The first thing she became aware of was the sound of the beeping. It was irritating and she turned her head in the direction it was coming from, feeling heavy and tired. Her mind was hazy and she was struggling to remember anything. The only thing clear to her was that the beeping and whirring of the machines, and the humming of the fluorescent lights, were bother her, and the scratchy blankets and thin mattress weren't hers. Making a quiet sound of annoyance, she tried to move, letting out an even louder sound of annoyance when she realised she couldn't. She felt weighed down, even though she couldn't feel her body at all, and she was too relaxed to really put much thought into it. All she could see was a reddish light, with flashing shapes and swirling patterns, and as her mind slowly dragged itself up from unconsciousness, the more she realised that she shouldn't have been there. Letting out a soft sigh, she hummed with frustration.

A rustling sound caught her attention and despite the heaviness of her eyelids, she opened them, her ears pricking at the sound of someone moving closer to the bed. The sound of shoes squeaking on the tiled floor and the creaking of metal as something was gripped. "Hey, shh, don't move. You're okay," a gentle voice reassured her. In her confusion, she couldn't quite place the soothing tone, but she knew she knew the voice.

And then it clicked, and she let out a shallow sigh of relief, her breath a faint whisper and her voice a hoarse rasp when she spoke. It would've been painful if she could feel anything at all. "Lisa."

"It's me," the other woman soothingly replied, a warm hand brushing against her head. Leaden eyelids fluttered closed as the vortex of colours and swirls carried on, and she hummed at the feeling of hot fingers against her forehead. They were almost hot enough to burn, yet it felt nice for some reason. "You gave everyone a scare. Chaeyoung is here, and Minzy. They'll probably be back soon."

The names dimly registered in her mind, but she paid them little attention as she tried to make sense of everything. They weren't the names she wanted to hear. There was another name that she grasped at, evading her at the edges of her mind, and it was frustrating, making her frown, her eyebrows drawing together as she tried to remember.

"Where is she?" she slurred, her croaky voice sounding painful even to her own ears, a hacking cough sounding to her own ears. She felt as if she'd been screaming for hours, and although she couldn't feel the pain, she knew her throat was parched and scratchy. That was the least of her worries at the present though as she tried to find the name she was looking for. "Jennie," Jisoo finally said, the name tenderly falling from her lips with a rush of relief, and she seemed to relax as the frustration at not being able to find the name was alleviated, her chest falling as she let out a shallow breath.

Jennie. Her Jennie. She should've been there, gently stroking Jisoo's hair. Not that Jisoo wasn't blissfully content with the presence of her best friend, but Jennie should've been there. In her disembodied existence, with no sight or ability to move her cumbersome body, the only thing running through Jisoo's mind was Jennie's name. It replayed itself like one of her melodies she couldn't get out of her head. Jennie, Jennie, Jennie. Where was her Jennie? Jisoo had the prickling feeling of uneasiness that something was amiss. She felt like she should've known too. Her thoughts were all scattered and muddled, and she tried to break through the foggy confusion that clouded her mind, seeking out answers for her questions.

"She's okay," Lisa quickly reassured her, her voice tense and wary, "do you- do you remember what happened?"

"No," Jisoo sighed, her lips turning down at the corners as she grimaced.

"You were in an accident, Unnie," Lisa gently said.

It took Jisoo a few moments to make sense of the words, dragging her eyelids open and closed as she absorbed the information, her heart thudding slowly in her chest. The words sounded right somehow, yet Jisoo was having trouble piecing her jumbled thoughts together. She wasn't in her own bed, and she was numb to any pain, and she slowly came to the conclusion that she must've been in hospital, with the slow beeping monitors, the sharp antiseptic smell in the air, and the unfamiliar thin mattress beneath her. She was quite proud to put the two pieces together, but there were a lot of other pieces she had yet to figure out. If she'd been in an accident, wouldn't Jennie have been there to make sure she was okay?