Pent up

Oh, definitely.

"Well that was dramatic" Diego snorts. I throw a blind fist backwards- it hits him squarely on the chest "Ouch, asshole"

"Are you okay?" Cris whispers into my ear, and I melt further in his embrace.

"Yeah" I sniff "I think so?"

Now it's his time to snort "You don't sound so sure but I'll take it"

"Babe, I'm tired" Cris let's go of me, just a little, and turns to look at Martin, standing awkwardly to the side "You... take care of your friend, yeah? I'll go sleep" I lift my face enough to see him quickly get on his tiptoes to kiss his boyfriend's face and solemnly leave, head hung low as he weaves through the people talking and dancing now that the drama passed.

I step away from the broad chest in front of me, as Cris is still staring at the spot where Martin disappeared. Diego looks sad, too, that his friend fled like that, but as he notices my eyes on him he smiles and looks relieved.

"Why couldn't you do that, I don't know, sober and not in front of 30 people" He shrugs, unimpressed by my actions, yet still amused by them, patting my back "But fuck, finally"

"Shut up" I give a watery laugh, wiping my tears with the bottom of my shirt.

"I'm just glad you did it, bro, it was a long time coming" He sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes, and I laugh

"Really?" Was I that deluded that everything was fine?

"Oh you have no idea"

Me and Clara are finally done.

As friends we had been so close, so immediately close, it was hard to admit it wasn't working as well as before, but it wasn't anymore, was it?

It was hard, letting go of the one person who understood me most, one of my only friends, because I didn't have many at campus or at all, but Cris' words were a wake up call, one that shook me to my core and scared me, and suddenly being lonely wasthe least of my problems.

Why was I still with someone that I wasn't interested in anymore?

Because as much as I love her... was it still a romantic, passionate, sexual love? Not really. I loved hanging out and behing her friend but, the more we fought and the more she pressured me to 'rekindle' our relationship the more I started to hate that too.

It made no sense to be together anymore, and it was now obvious that it wasn't that I didn't want sex, I just didn't want to have sex with her, because with Cris by my side right now, with his strong arms and his soft eyes my libido was up and awake, tingling me, up and down my body, my feet, my hands, my-

He has a boyfriend, Josh. Don't.

Shut up sober brain. Only drunk thoughts tonight.

He looks hot

Better.

"Well, now that you got that out of your system" Diego hands me a tissue and claps his hands together "and are finally free and single, want to go play some games and get wasted?"

"Hell yeah"

We took one shot each, to loosen up Diego said, and moved to the other end of the corridor, bright colorful lights dancing across the shadows of the small room, extention cords and small screens playing all sorts of game music, a wii taking up most of the far wall. We joined a very drunken game of simon says that was just beginning.

I lost immediately and had to chug a beer, then it was truth or dare, nothing special or interesting, we skipped spin the bottle (for obvious reasons) and finally settled in front of a small display running Mario Kart.