It's Not Me

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"You look happy." Says my mom. "Vibrant."

Here we all sar. The Luna from my pack, mom and Romans mom who I might had on a bitch face.

"Yeah Alaric got back last night and I'm seeing him tonight." I say.

"It's odd to see you with the hybrid." Says Romans mom.

"Why is that." Says my mom with an attitude. She clearly didn't like Romans mom but dealt with her because of her status.

"I'm believe mates should be with eachother. Don't take it the wrong way Channel but no matter how good the hybrid is he's not your true soul mate." She says.

What a fucking hypocrite.

"Weren't you pushing for Amelia to be the Luna of this pack ten years ago knowing she wasn't his mate?" I questioned. "Why don't you do me favor and shut the fuck up."

With that I got up and left the table. Leaving the former Luna shocked. I went outside the pack house to calm down.

"Hey Channel." Says my brother who I don't even consider a brother.

Fuck it I am an only child.

"What?" I say clearly annoyed.

"I was looking for you." He says with s little pain in his voice. We stood there looking at eachother. "You sure have grown baby sister."

"Like you fucking care." I said to him the same way he used to speak to me. I looked at my nails. I needed to get them done again. "Look I have to-"

"Dad wants to see you again. He's on his final days." Says my brother with tears in his eyes. I tell it's really affecting him.

I didn't know what to feel. Should I feel sad?

"What do you want me to do about it." I ask.

He shook his head. As tear fell out his eyes.

"What happen to you." He says angry. "You used to be a sweet girl. Now you are cold. You don't care about your true family."

I laugh at what he was saying. He's really trying to blame me as if I owe them anything.

"That sweet girl that cared for you and her whole suppose family is gone." I say coldly to him. "You used me as a punching bag constantly. You used to tell me how much it would be if I would have died or how much you wanted me out of your life...you used to join the people that ridiculed me instead of defending me like a big brother should. Yet you are here complaining about me being cold. You are ridiculous."

I see him cry in front of me breaking down.

"I'm... so...sorry." He says. "I hate myself everyday for hurting you. I hate myself for never standing up for you, for the things that I've said and done. I'm so sorry. Life without you there hasn't been the same Channel. It has caused a big empty hole in the family."

This is the first time I've ever seen my mighty brother cry in front of me. Even though he said I'm sorry... it doesn't fix the past nor does it make it better for me.

Sometimes it's to late to forgive.

I gave all these people chances more than one to make things better between eachother.

Why should I keep giving them?

I'm tired.

"But please I'm begging you to see dad. He wants to see you again." Says my brother.

Just so that he's leave me alone for the hopefully the rest of my life I followed him to my old him. Where he opened the door for me. I saw my birth giver Sandra, Amelia and Myra there crying holding eachother. There was a lot of distant family and firends that belong to West and Sandra. All them crying or with puffy eyes.

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