Loki one-shots fanfiction ♡

9. i pull u in to feel your heartbeat. can u hear me screaming pls dont leave me

Warnings: dark theme, suicide attempt. If you may be triggered by these, please skip this chapter ♡

But if you're up for some drama then I suggest you listen to "Hold On" by Chord Overstreet while reading this to get ya deeper into the mood xx

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Loki grew more and more tense at each ring. She wouldn't pick up. Why wouldn't y/n pick up the phone? His mind no longer with the subject that was being discussed in the Avengers meeting. After the tenth miss call, the God of Mischief couldn't sit here and do nothing anymore. Something was terribly wrong. He just knew it! As if on cue, Loki hissed and stood up, ignoring the team's questions  - as to where was he going - as he stormed out the door with heavy footsteps. Every second counted. There was no time for stopping to explain anything. He needed to see y/n. He needed to know she was okay.

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Sitting on the ground with her back against the wall, silent tears rolled down y/n's pale face as her tired, emotionless eyes glued to the closed door up ahead. It would all be over soon. She knew it since she already took care of what needed to be done. All that left to do was wait. It wouldn't take too long at all. Just a minute and it would all be over - the pain, the voices, the anxiety. It would all come to an end.

In the palm of her hand that hang loosely by her side, an empty orange bottle with the label that read 'Sleeping Pills' When her shrink prescribed the meds to her, she meant for her to take only one pill before bed to keep the insomnia at bay. The last thing y/n should do was empty the whole bottle down her thrown in one swallow, but oh well. She have had enough. Simply done with everything. Done with faking smiles, done with pretending to be happy when people were around and crying herself to sleep when she was alone. She was done with life. Loki. They said in your last moment, you'd see the face of the one you loved the most in your head. Right now, all y/n could see was Loki. He was the reason she put up with this battle for so long. She knew she would have given up and ended her own life long ago, if it wasn't for him. Yet it was only a matter of time, really. One day, she knew she'd do it. And the time was here. There was no turning back. She took the pills.

Would Loki be mad at her? Would he be sad? She never wanted to hurt or to upset him. Y/n could only hope loki would understand. She hoped he would see it coming, hoped he would know this was going to happen one day. Loki knew y/n was suicidal. So he had to know despite how everything seemed to get better, this was how it was going to end, how she was going to leave him.

Y/n wished she wrote him a note - suicide note - but she wasn't good with something so dramatic. So she wrote nothing. Now, she was having a second thought that she should have written to him so he knew she loved him and that none of this was his fault. Alas, it was too late. She was no longer in control of her own body. When she tried to move to get a pen and paper, her body wouldn't budge. Her eyelids grew so heavy that a task as simply as keeping her eyes open seemed almost impossible. Loki was going to find her dead on the bathroom floor, and he was going to blame himself for not doing a good-enough-job at keeping her alive. She should really have written him that damn suicide note so she could let him know there was nothing he could have done better. Her mind was made up. Now, he was going to be heartbroken, and the thought of him being heartbroken because of her made y/n hate herself even more. God, she could never do anything right!

Her face scrunched up when another wave of cramp hit. Her insides felt as though they were on fire. Silly little girl. She never thought it'd hurt this bad. In movies, it seemed so easy. So painless. You just sleep and never wake up again. Y/n lost the battle and closed her eyes. Her body felt limp and so her back slid down the wall until she was lying on the floor. Somewhere far away, she thought she heard tires screeching, but she couldn't tell. It seemed so far away. Too far away and she was fading fast. Last thing she knew, she was listening to heavy footsteps and her name being called, screamed. Oh, y/n knew that voice. She wanted to call back, to tell Loki it was okay, but her body was too weak to make any sound. Another three more seconds was all it took for blackness to devour all her senses.