Project: Socialize (Chapters 1-197)

167. Something's Amiss

The surface of the Helliger River rippled with the blowing wind, causing the reflection of the beautiful Nocsinis skyline at the far bank of the wide river as well as the Lumina skyline at the bank nearest to my residence to become distorted. It was cold outside with a likelihood of snow, but inside my room, I was warm. I gazed out the sliding glass door, past the reflections of the interior of my room due to the difference in lighting, and at the dark world outside and its brightly colored skyscrapers. With my right hand, I placed it gently on the glass, feeling the cold surface as the temperature outside cooled the material.

Slowly, I placed my head against the soft glass in order to calm myself. I let out a sigh as I thought back on the day. There have just been so many things going on lately that... to be honest it's getting a bit stressful. The Socialization app on my phone, although it has been fairly quiet recently, has dealt with me a great effect that had caused my world to change. In the years prior, I would simply be living life in a quiet repetitive loop, almost as if I was stuck in a time loop that never ended. Life was just bland as I prepared for my opportunity to accomplish the promise that I had promised myself, but now... things are different. There's just so much going on, so many additional people in my life that it has derailed everything. This is all the fault of that stupid app.

However, I guess it has changed me as well. If it had not, then I wouldn't have cared what Irina would've thought. However, since I did, I suppose that I am changed as well. Therefore, the new me would have to deal with this thing called socializing. It's just... different and difficult for me. I'm not accustomed to it. It's quite scary.

The night passed and morning came as the sun rose in the eastern horizon, driving away the darkness of night and providing the world with a few slivers of warmth that was still not enough for people to abandon the heavy winter jackets. Apparently, it had snowed late last night since the grounds were covered with a thin layer of soft, white snow. However, the city workers had woke early and shoveled the worst of the pile to the side of the roads, allowing the residents of Palisia to traverse the city with greater ease. Because of them, my morning commute to school wasn't much different from before.

Following a few paces behind Muria, I entered my classroom and ignored the quick glance that some of my classmates gave in my direction and started for my seat. On my path, there was Irina who sat at her desk with her phone that was personalized with a cute case in her hand. She greeted Muria when Muria walked by, smiling as she gifted her with her cheerful morning greetings. When it was my turn, that smile slowly faded as she remained silent and redirected her gaze to her phone. I was rather shocked to find myself standing before her, waiting for a brief moment, maybe expecting for her to deliver to me that morning greeting that I was so accustomed to. However, I was quickly able to notice this fallacy in my actions and quickly move on towards my seat although that momentary stop was quite awkward in nature.

The day went on like before, but unlike before, Irina seemed to be avoiding me somewhat. Whenever our sights crossed, she would quickly look away with a frown on her face, and I would simply sit there, confused as I tried to think of what I could do to mend things with her. I'm simply a coward, someone who's unable to take action. My indecisiveness must have contributed greatly to this result, but... it's really what has kept everything together. I do not know why and how but I seemed to have been thrust into the center of a really important rift between everyone's relationship and acted as the glue to hold things together by ignoring certain issues. However, nothing lasts forever and what has to be dealt with will eventually have to be dealt with.

The bell rang signaling the end of seventh period homeroom and the end of the day's schooling. From that gave birth the chaotic and loud scurry by the many students of my high school towards their respective destinations. With smiles on their faces, they enjoyed themselves. Boys chased after their friends, couples leave quickly while hand in hand to their date, they're all just so carefree, like nothing bothered them. I hate to say it but... I'm surprisingly jealous of them right now. To be able to be spared by this horrible esoteric secret about her condition as well as the true nature of this world and its divines...ignorance is really a bliss in disguise. They can live life without thinking about anything other than what's at hand.