Do I Wanna Know? || Ashton Irwin

10

February 20, 2019 - Eli and Ella's birthday

To: tasomaki7366@gmail.com

To my complete astonishment you are still here. You've spent about three days with me and the kids, it's nice isn't it? Even though you insist sleeping on the couch doesn't trouble you, it's still nice, right? You say it would be wrong of us to sleep in the same bed, but doing what's wrong has always felt right when it comes to you. I don't care if I have my engagement ring stashed away in my dusty cherry wood jewelry box. I don't care if you have a fiancee threatening you to not wear boots to your own wedding.

I can feel the tension - sexual tension - brewing amid us, if we spend any longer together one of us or both of us may snap, breaking free of the ties holding us back from being together.

An affair. The word has always bothered me until this moment when I glance over at you, watching television, lazily sprawled out on a different couch than me. If it weren't for Jack's constant stirring making us turn our attention to him, I would be yours in a second.

Have you got the guts?

I think my heart is racing the Indianapolis 500 because you just looked back at me and giggled at something funny that happened on the show your watching. My armpits are sweating too, it's quite gross. I'm greatly stirred up and always have been able to get easily ignited when you smile or look my way. I need to scream to the city that I love you, but I don't know if you feel the same as I do.

But we could be together if you wanted to.

Love,

T

"Do you need anything to drink? A snack maybe?" I asked Ashton, shutting my laptop and picking up my glass of soda that sat before me on the dining table. My desk was too cluttered with baby wipes, diapers, and toys to get work done on, so the dining table came in as second best. With the twins at school, Jack's babble and Ashton's giggles were about as quiet as things will get around here for now, so I took the chance to send another email to Francis and responded back to a few things I'd missed at work.

He shook his head, his hair shaking in exaggerated motions too. "No. If I want something I'll get it, you just rest, okay?" He said over his shoulder.

Rest. Rest was something I needed, but I always felt like I was on the run. There was so much to do in a day, but I didn't have time to do everything. That scared me. I was so focused on doing everything that I couldn't take a day to relax. What if I just happened to drop dead - knock on wood - and the kids would have to be sent away again? Or worse, they'd be left with Dick.

It'd become a habit to roll my eyes when I saw Noelle or Jet's names on my phone when I was off.

"I hate to bug you on your day off, but we need you to come in ASAP and confirm the orders for the store." Noelle groaned with frustration. I could picture the poor girl pulling her hair and looking distraught. I wanted to snap at her for starting her request without waiting for me to say 'hello,' but I tended to do that too when reaching out to her or Jet. "It's your alley, it'll be really quick. You'll be in and out before you know it."

"I have to pick up the kids from school and I promised myself I wouldn't touch anything work related on the twins' birthday."

"It needs to be done now, we put up new sales tonight and have to restock within a week."

"Can't I do it from here?"

"No, unfortunately Jet and I have to be present at the time of confirmation."