ᴠᴇʀʏ ɢᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ➳ ᴅɪᴀʀʏ 3

dear nick,

dear nick,

love is so strange. one moment, you're helplessly following your crush, and the next you feel like crying and punching the fucking wall.

or, at least that's what i feel. such confusing emotions take over me. do i want to be in love? do i want not want to be in love? 

the rush of adrenaline when i see you is enough to send me running away, far far away.

i dont want this.

i dont want to lie in bed and think why i cant be with you.

do you think i want this? no. neither do you im guessing.

i just want to run away from these feelings. from you.

but if i do, am i going to miss something? are we going to evolve into something more?

my situation might be too complicated for you. but we can work it out.

if you want to.

you have a choice. multiple, actually.

- date me

- befriend me

- break my heart

- just leave things as they are

- toy with me

- watch me crumble into pieces as you reject my love for you

- say hi once in a while.

im worried about you. i worry that you have problems. problems that i cant see, problems that you hide under your skin, problems that are deeper than my love for you.

and i want to help you. no matter what.

i also want to hold your hand, walk to class, and you kiss the top of my forehead and wish me good luck on my test as i kiss your cheek, and say you too. i want to cuddle and watch heathers together. laugh while we talk. 

love,

jay