Love
It feels as if a hole in my body has been created. A perfect spot that could be filled with horrible things making me angry or the hole bigger. But I simply sit down and think. I think about the good times when all I had is anxiety and Sadness. I think about how it felt and how nice it was. Yet it wasn't even real. Why do I feel as if I'm held back, I have no chains and I have no one to respond to. I have my own world. Why do I have to act like I am restricted. I should be acting crazy and being and doing things I will regret. I can't seem to diminish these feelings. I try and I think they are crushed down to fine pieces but when I breathe they blow everywhere like pieces of glitter and yet nothing is connecting me to it. No strings. Just pathways burned in my brain from thinking too much and believing to much. I need to stop believing in fairytales and wishes and true love. It's not real. Love isn't real, it's merely a made up tale told by kids to get them to listen and believe. But when you are put into it. It's horrible and terrifying and I can't even begin to think what actually being tied down must feel like. Yet I only want to feel that. I want to have strings pulling me eachway. I want to be responsible I want to feel something. But love will not be it. Love is merely my childish imagination working in ways that I never thought could happen. Love is something I could never contain. Love is fake, don't fall in it. All you do is fail in pain, not love.
