The Silence | ✔️

38. E

A I D E N S • P O V

THE MORNING AFTER ARIAN LEFT

Mom was never an affectionate woman. We saw her kiss our father on the odd occasion. She loved him. But she showed it in her own way. She cooked for him, amazing meals that took hours to prepare. She ironed his clothes each night. Without fail. She organised his office, did his shopping, she existed for him. And after he died, she lost the smallest part of her that allowed for hugs or motherly embraces.

Dad never complained. He was an affectionate man. But he never begrudged Mom for being who she was. He accepted her and loved her regardless of the fact that he was her opposite. When she did hold him for a few seconds longer, or when she kissed him or when she held his hand in public, it was so obvious how much that meant to him. His lips would lift a little higher, his eyes would shine a bit brighter. He loved her for who she was, but those moments were something that he cherished because he knew that it would be a long time before it happened again.

Zoerina was a lot like our mother. Though she would never admit it. She was rough around the edges, hard headed and claimed to be made of steel, but she craved what she'd been deprived of her whole life. Dad would tell Mom that Zoerina needed that love from her Mother. Mom would wave him off and tell him that she provided their daughter with what she needed and she was just fine. Which was true. She was fine. Like Dad, she came to accept it. But even if subconsciously, it had an adverse effect.

It was part of the reason that I was so supportive of Po's love towards her. It was pure and I always knew that. He loved her in the way that she'd always needed. Affection, kind words, total appreciation for who she was. And I never doubted that he was using her for sex because he didn't have it. With the exception of experimenting in high school while he was on a war path of self discovery. It was just unfortunate that their time together was so marred and fucked up by addiction.

What I seemed to have ended up with, was being in tune to people's emotions and feelings. So much so that it felt like a curse. I could read people, more so than the average person. It was the downfall to doing what I did. I felt the dreaded fear coming from the people that I murdered. But it was easy to remember that it was what they deserved. It was the only reason that I didn't drown in guilt. It still left a weight on my soul though. One that didn't diminish until I met Arian.

Even then, I don't think that she was removing it. She was just helping me to live with it. She was a reminder that even though evil dwelled among us, purity existed. There wasn't a shortage of good people in the world. But she was more than good. She was selfless, strong, empathetic, giving . . . forgiving. . .

Maybe.

The sound of my bedroom door opening was followed by footsteps that belonged to Zee and Zee alone. She had this unique tread. Like she was pissed off but too gentle for it to be intimidating. Which was ironic because she wasn't gentle and if she wanted, she could do a lot of damage to whoever pissed her off.

The bed dipped, just a little, it was a firm mattress. Designed not to disturb a sleeping partner with unsettled movements. I'd had it delivered while Arian and I were in the Bahamas. Just for the fact that her sleeping was so disrupted as it was. I didn't want her nights to be even worse when I came in late on the occasion. She had no idea.

A loud slap sound was accompanied by a harsh sting on my shoulder blade. "Get up, Aiden," Zee ordered, another slap. "It's eleven in the morning. You've never slept in this late and I refuse to let you start now."

"Fûck off."

She scoffed. "You're acting like a teenage girl."

"What the fûck is wrong with you," I flicked the comforter back and unintentionally got a whiff of Arian's scent. Her perfume that she spritzed after a shower. Even if she was just getting into bed. Perhaps I was acting like a teenage girl. "I'm not acting like a teenage girl. I don't need to listen to your shit. Leave me alone."