SLEEPSONG (BoyxBoy)✔️

Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

I was frozen.

The emotional and physical aftermath of such an intimate and shocking encounter had taken its toll on me in ways that I was incapable of dealing with right then. I was tempted to take a cold shower to calm down, but I eventually managed to do so without it and rose to my feet.

I stared up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath, every nerve in my body electrified.

After dusting myself off and straightening my disheveled shirt, I walked unsteadily down the hallway and headed up the stairs to my room without seeing much of the world around me, but when I got to my door I stopped since the sound of power tools were still going strong. 

I stared at the deep brown wood for the longest time, wondering what to do.

Leo was obviously still working on getting things ready for me, and I was in no condition to deal with anyone else right then, so I stood there, feeling lost and off in my own little world as I glanced down the hall at Sebastian's door, wondering if I should go there instead, wondering if he was waiting, wondering if what had happened earlier was even real.

I still couldn't believe it but I mean come on, who the hell could blame me?

Sebastian was the man who'd attacked me only a few weeks ago, the man who'd forced his way inside my home and renovated it against my will, the man who'd threatened to tip me off of a scale I hadn't even known I'd been standing on, the man who'd uprooted everything that had once made me feel safe, and had even rejected me once before, albeit when I was drunk.

Not only that, he had the body of a Roman God and was hung like a horse.

I'd seen enough of him to know that he'd leave anyone he chose to mess around with walking funny. In comparison, I was literally nothing looks-wise, so... why? Why me? Why all of a sudden? How had he gone from hating me to wanting to sleep with me?

I didn't know.

It made no sense.

I chewed on my lip, puzzling over it until something occurred to me. 

Maybe I was thinking about this wrong. Maybe his decision seemed like a complete one eighty because I couldn't read him. He had lost control of himself multiple times around me, and even in the beginning there might have been a little intimacy in the way he'd constantly pinned me down, straddled me, nibbled at my neck...

I touched my throat, flashbacks of him biting my flesh, but not painfully, recalling the feeling of his hands, of his weight, and the way he'd crushed his groin against me. There had been times where his actions had contradicted his words and overall attitude. 

Yes, he'd been violent, yes, he'd been cruel, and yes, he'd hurt me, but there had also been something else there, something I'd missed over the feelings of fear, and confusion, and not knowing what the fuck was happening. There had been something in him I'd missed.

My pulse picked up even further as I recalled the way he'd stared at my legs back in Michigan right after I'd fired Louise, the way those eyes of his had followed my every move when I'd pulled them up, and then, the way they'd lingered on my hips, my waist, my body. I recalled the way he'd stepped in and helped me with Atlas Chronicles, the way his hands had ghosted over me. 

I recalled the way he'd pinned me back against the sink after the vampire incident, the way he'd forced my spine to arch backwards, mouth on my neck, holding me against him, keeping me in place, and every time he'd ever pinned me down he'd held me like he was never going to let go.