What the heart wants

31. Just a mistake?

Just as the door opened, we both pulled apart with a jerk. The light of a bright torch filled the room and Jessica's voice echoed, "Xavier? Hazel?".

"Yeah, w.. we are here.", Xavier stood up, his voice felt raspier than usual.

I felt too flustered to speak so I didn't bother. My skin was unusually warm and I was trying my best to control the turbulence heaving inside my body.

"Thank God. I was searching for you everywhere. Then Denise told me that she saw you on the third floor. I was so afraid, I thought you left me.", she walked towards him and hugged him tightly.

I felt a painful tug inside my chest. Xavier patted her waist and hid his face in her hair. His eyes never flicked towards me for even a second. Too hurt by his action, I stood up and walked past them.

The darkness was terrifying, but not more than the idea of losing my self-respect, my first kiss to a man who belonged to someone else. I felt cheap and disgusted with myself.

And the fact that I was still elated by the fact that he kissed me, it pissed me even more.

But why did he kiss me if he doesn't feel something towards me? And if he does, then why is he marrying Jessica?

The havoc inside my mind was turning me into a crazy mess. The distance from the store room to my room felt excessively long. Even the stairs were rotating or so I felt.

"Hazel.", I heard Xavier's voice, followed by the sound of his footsteps.

I turned around and looked at him with mist-filled eyes, too tired to speak anything.

"I am sorry.", guilt and sorrow was dripping from his face.

"This kiss was a mistake. I was not in my right mind.", he spoke in a hushed tone.

"Forget about it.", he continued after a pause.

So it was just a mistake.

"You are right. It was all just a mistake.", my voice was breaking.

"You know what else was mistake?", my words turned suddenly hard.

"Thinking that you are different. You used to say I am judgmental. You know what, I was right. You rich people, you all are just the same.", I fumed. Fortunately, nobody heard us because of the noise of thunders.

"Fucking hypocrites.", I spat my words at him, observing the way his face turned sour at my words.

"Hazel, I.."

Without bothering to hear his reply, I stormed pass him. My breaths were coming out in gasps as I rushed inside my room and slid down across the door.

A tear rolled down my cheek, and the rest followed it like an unbroken stream.

"I hate you, Xavier.", I screamed at no one and hid my face between my knees.

I hate you so much.

...

The next week passed without any interaction with Xavier. He avoided me like the plague. Same goes for me, it was actually easy, considering the fact that I spent all the days preparing for the party that was supposed to be six days before the wedding i. e tomorrow.

Stefan actually trusted me with all the arrangements and I didn't want to disappoint him. So, I put my heart and soul in this. Besides, I wanted to prove myself, not only to him, but in my own eyes too. In short, I needed this success more than anything.

After giving the instructions to the decorator, I returned to my room. It was 12 at night and my whole body was aching badly. Stepping into my room, I stretched on the bed and let out a loud yawn.

My lids felt heavy under the effect of exhaustion. I covered myself with duvet and shut my eyes close. A tap on the door interrupted my attempt to sleep and I hopped out of bed.

Getting ready to burst at the person on the opposite side of the door, I opened it but my words stopped in my mouth when I found Jessica staring at me with her big doe eyes. She was holding a dress in one hand and a box in the other.

She walked passed me inside the room and stood beside the bed, showing me the dress. It was a dark red off-shoulder gown with a long slit running at the bottom upto the middle of the thigh. A perfect combination of decent yet sexy.

"How's this dress?", she said joyly.

"It's amazing. You will look like a model in this.", I responded, looking at the dress in awe.

"It's not mine. It's for you.", she told me and I blinked in confusion.

"But how can I-"

"Consider it a gift for all the hardwork you're doing.", she said and hung the dress on the cupboard.

"And the matching heels are in this box.", she placed the box on the side table.

"I can't take this, Jessica. You are already paying us a lot.", I tried to return it but she didn't agree.

"I consider you my friend, Hazel. I want you to wear it.", she looked me in my eyes and pouted.

"Fine. I'll wear it.", I agreed at last. She screeched excitedly and engulfed me in a hug.

"Ok now you continue your beauty sleep. I am going to join Xavier, if you know what I mean.", she winked and an unpleasant heaviness settled in the pit of my stomach.

"Just kidding. We haven't done the deed yet.", she chuckled and a strange relief rushed through my body.

It doesn't matter, Hazel. He loves her, you are just a mistake.

After she left, I lay down on bed again but the thought of this wedding prevented me from sleeping after that.

Just six more days. After this wedding, I'll never cross his path again.

...

"No, you are doing this all wrong. These orchids are supposed to be on the entrance.", I sighed and pulled the orchids out of the vase and replaced them with the white lilies.

My eyes flicked to the dance floor and I rushed towards it.

"Damn it, who placed these speakers in the middle.", I yelled but nobody responded.

"Calm down, sweetheart.", I heard Stefan's voice from the other corner.

"Ughhh. Nothing is going right.", I exasperated, kneeding my forehead.

"Everything's fine. Go to your room and dress up. I'll handle this.", He told me and instructed the decorator about the speakers.

"But boss-"

"Consider it an order, Miss. Martin.", he ordered, feigning a professional tone and I had to oblige.

"Fine."

************************

Kind of a filler chapter. Sorry for that.

I am actually really busy. My finals are starting in the mid of October and my preparation is lagging behind.

I hope you'll understand.