Blackbird

So Why You Wanna Fly?

I sat down on the bed in my new room, they had decorated it just for me. Nothing too fancy but it wasn't plain either. I had my own bed that wasn't on the floor or dirty and smelled like a dumpster. I had a dresser with books of poetry to read on it, there were clothes hung up in the closet and shoes under the bed. There was even a school picture of Tara on the nightstand.

"We thought you'd like the picture, if it's too much we can put it away for you" Evan said standing in the doorway.

"No, it's okay, seeing her smile....it's kind of comforting. Um, thanks for deciding to share a room with Ethan for me, I could have just slept on the couch or something" I said managing a smile.

"That's no big deal honestly Ethan was so happy to give up his room, he likes the idea of having a sister and I don't mind sharing with him" he replied. I sat there staring at the rays of light beaming through the sheer purple curtains. I have the opportunity at a new beginning but no idea of where to start. I felt the bed dip and his arm wrap around me, I thought about crying but so many tears have poured out lately that I felt like a dried up river. I turned to look at him, and his eyes gave me peace.

"I don't understand what you're going through none of us do, but Rena we're here for you. I'm here for you, anything you need me to be for you I'll try my best to be that. I wish I could take your pain away, and carry it myself but this is the best I can do. I don't want to lose you Rena, I just want to see you smile and be truly happy" he said looking me right in the eyes.

"I'm not really sure I even know what happiness is anymore" I looked down at my hands, he tilted my chin up so I was looking him directly in the eye.

"And that's okay, because I promise I'll help you find it again" he said squeezing me lightly.

"What would I do without you, my saviour" I joked.

"I don't know but you sure saved me too" he chuckled. There was a knock on the door and it was Vanessa.

"Hey you two, dinner is ready" she smiled at the two of us for a second then went downstairs. Two seconds later Ethan popped in in the doorway smiling.

"C'mon Rena we got to show you what we cooked'' he said excitedly, dragging me down the steps. We rounded the corner to the kitchen and there was more food than I was expecting. Spaghetti, steak, casserole, burgers, fries, cookies and even pie.

"Wow guys you cooked all this?" I laughed.

"We didn't know what you'd like so we cooked some basic things" Vanessa spoke up.

"I know that sometimes it seems that I've checked out and I'm not aware of everything you guys do but thank you so much for everything" I stated seriously.

"No need to thank us, you're family" Ms. Vanessa smiled. Family....I always wanted Tara and I to be able to have one of those.

After dinner and a shower I put on a big t-shirt and got ready for bed. I've been out of school for as long as time permitted and it was time for me to go back tomorrow. I stared at the the picture of Tara smiling, she looked so happy even though our home life was much less than ideal. It made me smile a little, I turned off the lights and got into bed hoping for a dreamless night.

I was shaken awake by Ethan's smiling face, I smiled back. He reminds me so much of Tara, that lively spirit and adorable smile.

"Rena it's your first day back, you don't want to be late" he whispered.

"Mmm, course not. You wanna help me pick out an outfit?" I asked. He nodded and walked to my dresser and then to the closet. After brushing my teeth and brushing my hair into a puff, I made my way downstairs in the outfit Ethan had picked out for me. It was a simple blue, long sleeve shirt with a pair of jeans and sneakers. Everyone else was already seated at the table eating breakfast when I joined them.

"Do you like your outfit, I picked the shirt because of Tara" he said eating his pancakes.

"Ethan-" Evan started.

"No it's okay. I love it Ethan, I'm sure she'd be happy that we're remembering her" I replied ruffling his hair. He smiled at me then continued eating, I dug into my own food hopeful for a good day. Vanessa left for work before we were done eating, and when we finally finished we got in the car to head to school. We pulled up to Ethan's school and before getting out he tapped me on the shoulder and said;

"Don't worry Rena, Tara is watching over us she won't let anything bad happen" he said cheerfully. I nodded and smiled at him, then he got out of the car and ran to join his friends. We pulled off and finally our school came into view and I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"It's showtime" I stated.